I can not believe this... SD16 has struck again with the flippin' guilt trip.

Here's a quick synopsis to understand the situation. I have BD10 who lives with her dad during the school year except with me every other weekend and holidays and with me during the summer except every other weekend due to a 2 hour distance between us. I moved to where I am living now about 7 years ago with who now is my Ex-husband for a job opportunity. I also have a BS7 who is with me full time due to his Bio-dad (ex-husband) moving over 1000 miles away and not having any contact with BS7 for over 3 years. Then I have SD16 who is with us every other week since her Bio-mom is only 10 miles away.

The other day, all 3 kids and I were at the table eating lunch and SD16 asks about when BS7 will be getting braces. She is wanting to know because she is starting a position training to be a dental assistant at our dentist office and would like for him to go to that dentist. I explained that we would most likely not be in town because HD and I have been talking about moving back to the town where BD10 lives the majority of the year after SD16 graduates high school. This is not a new topic. We have talked to her about doing this a few times over the last year or so, so that she is not blind-sided. We have also explained that we do not want her to feel abandoned or that she is not important and that it is important for us to see her through high school.

(FYI: we have given every bit of support academically, financially, emotionally, with sports, etc. for the last 6 years that DH and I have been together.)

Due to this and the face that BD10 has endured so much travel and the absence of me at some of her functions, we decided that it was time for BD10 to receive the support that she has not been getting due to the distance, etc. I am able to attend a lot of her extra curricular events, etc. but definitely not as many as I would if I lived close.

When I mentioned this at lunch, SD16 had a fit and talked about how we were just doing this to leave her here and that it wasn't fair. I tried to explain to her that we absolutely did not want her to feel this way and that I was sorry that she did. Also that we thought it was important to see her through high school. Her response, "It's not like you even live in my school district so I don't see how that matters."

Let me tell you how many times I have picked her up from school, brought her home, made sure she had help with her homework, made sure her sports uniform was clean, had something to eat then, drive 45 minutes one way just to drop her off at practice, come home and feed the rest of the family and then get her from practice to bring her home. This is just ridiculous! I am so upset and pissed at her entitlement and selfishness. I just had to walk away. This being just 2 days after I made a promise to myself to withdraw from her specifically for this reason.

So, tonight comes (2 days after said conversation about us moving in a couple of years) and she texts DH and says "If you and SM want to leave, then just leave. Don't let me keep you here." DH is pissed at the whole thing and asked how it came up. I explained the conversation that we had at lunch and who said what. DH wants to know why I didn't just blow her off. He asks, "Didn't you think about how she would feel? Didn't you think about how hard this would make things for me?" I'm so furious right now! I told him that I was sick of tip-toeing around things to keep SD16 from getting upset. And I am so sick of having to think about how everyone else will "feel". I am just being honest and trust me, in no way did I mean the conversation to be malicious or hurt anyone's feelings. As I said before, this is NOT a new subject with her.