My DH and I just got married last weekend after two years together. I moved in with him about eight months ago once we were engaged. My SD is 8, and we get along well. The BM is reasonable.

I don't have BKs and for the past seven years I lived happily on my own. I spent the first many months living with DH and SD trying to be perfect. Gentle, accommodating, making every moment the three of us were together about the SD.

Now I realize that's unsustainable. At least for me. I was following my DH's lead, but now I feel claustrophobic and encroached on.

I don't want to do an about-face - that would be confusing to SD and she doesn't deserve that.

But I need to be better about creating boundaries for myself.

I think one way to do that is to gently pull back a bit and spend my energy making sure DH and SD's relationship is going well (they're very close). She has a mom and doesn't need me in that way, but I find her to be needy in ways that make me want to run for the hills.

Any suggestions?