Both holidays will be held at my house this year.
Turkey day and Christmas which I actually do not celebrate as I practice earth based spirituality, but nonetheless I am hosting Thanksgiving and Christmass for all my in laws.
There is so much drama in this family. I'm happy that I will be seeing the in-laws that I like, but there are parts of this I just dread.
I have discussed this in previous blogs, but this is what really weirds me out. I am forbidden from interacting with grand-skid by sd. There is no rhyme or reason, just how she chooses to use her newfound authority as a Mother. The baby comes to my home, plays less than a foot away from me, eats my food, ect ect, but I am not to interact with the baby. I'm sure this banishment is meant to be hurtful, and it is.
I wonder, if I had a child with my husband and made up the same rule regarding my sd not being allowed to interact with her half-sibling, how well that would go over with the in-laws.
This is just the tip of the iceburg, but the baby thing has always just struck me as really petty. I feel like if I'm going to be treated this way I should have a lifetime get out of jail free when it comes to supporting the sd in any way shape or form.
Despite this, I still gave my husband the info on getting free or affordable legal help so that my grand skid won't be taken into drug houses. I may think sd is being petty, but I certianly don't hold that against a two year old, nor would I want even my worst ememy's baby to be treated that way.
Everybody surrounding me with all the drama I deal with always want to put the kids in the middle of it. That is ultimately not good for the kids, but I guess myself and my husband, (and our attorney) are the only people that seem to know or care about that not so minute fact.
Well, I guess I'm just venting about all this, but the holidays just seems to bring all these issues to the forefront.
- Susanna's blog
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Comments
What??
That is seriously the most absurd thing I have EVER heard! I'm sorry but if I were you I would not allow that ungrateful little 'girl' (sd)in my home if she were going to act like that. You can't interact with you step grand child? What an immature little witch... There is no good reason for that! Absoultely ridiclous... I wish little girls like her were not allowed to procreate!
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda
Your DH allows her to do that?
How can he not say something to her about that level of disrespect? No one should be allowed to ignore you in your own home. (I am speaking from experience here.) Why doesn't he step and say something to her like "this is my wife and if you can't be civil to her, then perhaps you shouldn't come over." Yes, he may lose visiting time with his daughter and his grandchild, but she needs to realize that you are an important part of his life that she can't just ignore.
(putting away her soapbox)
mariak
*takes marika's soapbox*
WTF? What does your husband say about this absurd behavior? Seriously, that's just a delinquent family dynamic in the making. If the child is two then it's probably old enough to say a few words and understand what's told to it. What happens when the SD starts telling the kid that you're a mean nasty witch and not to go near you? Does the SD not understand that this child could be affected FOR LIFE by what she's doing to it now? Or your husband, for crying out loud? That's just plain ridiculous...
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
This is what I would do...
I love kids, especially the little ones! I would get down on the floor and start playing with the little grandchild. Play peek a boo or something so she warms up to you since you have not been allowed to have interaction with her. It is ridiculous,this is your home. If sd has a fit over you wanting to show some attention to her child, YOU ask her to leave immediately as YOU will not permit her to behave in your home like this and then I would give hubby the look of a lifetime that he best stand behind you on this one and fast. If she really starts with the drama, you tell hubby to let you know when she leaves and head to the bedroom or somewhere else in the house. If something is cooking on the stove, he will have to attend to it...period! Why hubby hasn't stepped up to the plate by now is beyond me. Time for you to put things in motion.
Either sd will pack up her little one and leave or hubby should make her apologize and stop this nonsense about you not being able to interact with the little one and the day continues on as normal.
If she leaves, its time you sit down with hubby and set some ground rules that you are not going to be treated like this in your own home. I am not sure if hubby just doesn't realize what is taking place (let's face it some men aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer) or he just doesn't want to face it because it will mean standing up to his daughter on your behalf...regardless, he needs to step up to the plate, you deserve respect from this selfish sd!
Best of luck to you,
Corie....let us know how you make out.
I talked to hb about it last night.
I pointed out a few things to hb last night and he finally, reluctantly offered to talk with her about. I actually turned him down, but that might have been a mistake. He doesn't like me to ask him to take "sides." I pointed out that if he and I had a baby and I made up a similar rule, it would be considered really petty. He had to agree to that, but just doesn't want to be bothered with how I feel about this weird Kabuki dance that I am expected to do.
I think I will talk to him again and maybe take him up on the offer this time.
// Susanna
"One breath at a time is an acceptable plan."
Ani DiFranco