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I ended up vomiting resentment from the mouth all night to bf

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:20pm

It came out, all of it, seriously gals it was like when you throw up and there's absolutely NO way to stop it from coming out? That was me...i could NOT hold it in anymore. So much was said...he heard me out, but of course felt attacked.

I don't know where we stand or where we left things honestly - he needs to get his balls back and get the damn dna test...she'll get hurt...no shit, she's getting hurt NOW....and tell me how getting this done NOW is worse then it coming out when she's a teen perhaps? This could be the only thing that gives him more control. The shit w/the schedules and his parents needs to stop.

I'm just over all of it honestly-I love him so much but I'm starting to not like myself anymore. And I refuse to change myself and become a bitter person from here on out. Things will have to change or I will be on my own.

I really think if this man cannot work this out w/me of all people (I AM very patient)...he will jump from relationship to relationship his whole life because his kid/exwife have him by the balls.

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:26pm

overit2, I've done the same thing. I felt a little bad about things I've said during that "resentment vomiting" but not enough to wish I hadn't said things.

If anything the honesty made me feel better. It makes you like yourself more too. I really know that feeling. Stifling to the point where you are disgusted with yourself. I hate that feeling.

The ball is in his court. I guess wait for his response.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:38pm

YES always-"Stifling to the point where you are disgusted with yourself."

BINGO-that's exactly how I felt. All of a sudden it's not only coming out to him, but my mom, some select friends-it's like I'm releasing so much frustration that I have bit my tongue about just to make this work. Until I couldn't anymore. Yes-ball is in his court indeed.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:48pm

LOL-it seemed he did that for a while too...but he didn't remove himself. HA....we had gone out for a bit too-I guess he thought it was going to just be a wondeful thursday evening away w/his girl and a long island...>PPPFFTT yeah RIGHT! lol

He knew it was coming-because when we talked on the phone earlier I had blown up about her latest change of schedule....and before we even left my house I started venting...he said-do we need to stay home? I said nope....so thank god the music was loud to drown the vomit a bit...but then it continued at home for another hour or two.

I'm sure liquid courage helped me get out most of what I was holdign in-and I'm really not sorry.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 1:37pm

Well, if all goes well I'm having a night out w/my girl friend....she's had a baby recently and hasn't been able to get out at all. HA and she's in a blended situation also....guess what, she has a SD! her kids are w/their dads this wknd-and she had arranged a sitter for her and her SO to go out for a date. And THEN she gets a call from him not long ago TELLING her (sound familiar?) that they are getting his D tonight and they can move the date night to tomorrow.

She said, well then -YOU can stay with her AND our baby and I'm going out with (me) Smile Maybe we'll get to vent our frustrations out. My youngest is supposed to go to a friends for a sleepover-my oldest is going w/his friends to the skating rink for a few hrs...so her and I will hopefully have some time to let it all out. I'm excited!