Hey Serentiypatiencelove... I am in this situation. You aren't alone!

SD 17 lives with my husband and myself, and has since 2008.

She has little contact with BM and they have a very tenuous relationship. For a while SD would at least have daytime visits with BM; but recently BM did something that hurt SD so much that right now, SD isn't even talking to her mom at all.

My husband travels for work for months at a time. So there are extended periods of time when I am the primary caregiver. DH talks to SD just about every day via phone and still has a big presence in her life, but I am the one here every day.

It is a very hard situation on everyone - SD (who misses her father greatly, and has had to have therapy due to issues with her mom), DH (who is torn between doing what is best to financially support our family, and dealing with the absences that causes) and myself (who gave up traveling to be home to raise SD). All 3 of us are sacrificing in different ways. BUT we are still a family and we feel that we are doing the best we can.

Ultimately, that's what it comes down to... Knowing your situation and realizing you are doing the best you can do in the situation!

Hugs girl.. you are NOT alone.

You are definitely not alone. I am also primary care giver to two SD's ages 16 and 13. Father drives for a living so has very odd hours and I work 7 to 4 everyday. Guess who is ALWAYS home with them. I also have two biological sons age 19 and 15. They 19 year old graduated last year and just moved into his first apartment. My younger son just got his first job so he can pay his car insurance. The two SD's don't lift a finger to help with anything and guess who is paying for the 16 year olds car insurance, yep thats right, ME!!! Let me tell you, if I could do it all over again......NOT A CHANCE..... My DH and I recently started counselling and although it is getting somewhat better for me there is still a lot of work to be done. I don't know if we will make it but I hope and pray that we do as I love my DH more than life but sometimes that just isn't enough. We have two totally different parenting styles, mine is semi-strict with high expectations and his is typical guilty daddy. We are working on this in counselling and he is stepping up as far as that goes. I didn't sign up to be their primary caregiver. We are supposed to have 50/50 custody of them but we end up with 95/5 most of the time since their BM is too interested in living her own "single" life, than in taking care of her daughters. It is a lot of work but sometimes the rewards are great when they actually say "Thank you" or "I appreciate you doing that for me". It is just a shame that those are so few and far between. Let me know if you need to vent because I am here most days. Best of Luck!!!!!!

You're not alone. SS11 lives primarily with DH, me and my DD12. He goes to BM's house every other weekend so we pretty much do all the hard stuff, school stuff etc. while she and her hubby and skids get the fun stuff. I also work from home so I take care of him in the afternoons after school. I do more for him than either of his bio parents simply because I'm home and get little to no appreciation from SS. All the glory goes to BM and of course, being a boy, he idolizes DH. I'm just there in the background even though I'm doing most of the work.

My 4 skids (ages 7-13) live with us full time, along with my own 4 kids between the same ages. We are custodial, and BM gets them every other weekend. My exh is not in the picture for my kids. This is the last week of school.... gonna be a long summer!

SD15 and SS13 live with us full time. They do not see their BM. So we get no breaks from them.

I am getting tired of raising them all by myself. FH doesn't tell them anything. He does back me up but he on his own really doesn't tell his kids anything. Only things he does tell them is take out the trash and put water in the refrigerator. That is it.

I am tired of being the main disciplinarian. I work from home so I get to be the one making sure they are doing what they are supposed to be doing. And if they are not and they decide to talk back I am the one that has to put up with that. And when FH gets home he never wants to hear about it! Then FH wonders why I am never happy...