Thank goodness for this group! I just need to vent. When ex left his girlfriend wanted nothing to do with our children. He told me he would not be the type to hound me for visitation and then he disappeared for 2 years. For my oldest who was 6 at the time this was heartbreaking, her daddy left, she didn't understand why and the only thing she came up with was I was to blame.

His affair didn't last, he moved on, remarries and this lady welcomed the children so he reconnected (somewhat) with the kids. Times he spent with the kids he made sure that they knew a whole list a bad things about me, that did not even happen. He had to prove to them, even if thru lies, that he had reason for his behavior.....simple, he had an affair because he can't keep body parts where they belong and he ended the marriage but he had to trun it into something it was not.

Ex missed all the important events in the kids' lives, not because he had no choice in the matter, he made that choice. Daughters so wanted the connection, didn't want to disappoint dad, wanted his acceptance, wanted his love. I could see the ache in their hearts.

Who is doing all the caring, all the listening, understanding, raising, trying to make things right in a stepfamily? And who gets the blame? The one in their lives daily lending that support. Oh sure there were issues.....what step family doesn't? But I was to blame.

Wife #2 leaves, ex dates and brings his girlfriend he was having an affair with before the divorce to all the grandkids' b.day parties with my family, expecting everyone to accept him and his lifestyle. That ends, she dumps him when she find out who he really is. Now he is dating get again.....this time his new girlfriend has all the kids and their spouses as a friend on her FaceBook page.

This man continues to drag the kids thru the mud with his choices in life, pointing blaming fingers at anyone but him, expecting everyone to accept what he is doing and be fine that he is "happy and enjying life." And who are the kids complaining to? Yep, me. Yet I am the one who did the kids wrong.

What a mess!