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what to do??

krk10's picture

Submitted by krk10 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:42am

:? i have been around my stepson since he was 2 and he just turned 3 about 2 months ago. I am married to his father and we only get his son 2 1/2 days a week. I do love my stepson he is a good kid but my feelings recently have been very much negative. I have a 6 month old baby of my own, my very first child. I love him more than words can say. He loves his older brother and vice versa. I find myself very jealous for my son. My Husband is a wonderful father, he loves his kids very much. But i nit pick at the attention he gave my stepson at first, its his first child his oldest boy, i felt for awhile like he was neglecting OUR son and giving his oldest more affection and attention and that is not right. I want both boys to have a good relationship with their dad, but i dont think that either boy should have more attention because of the situation we are in with my stepson not being here. MY husband has been a lot better with this and he is now realizing where i was coming from.
Ever since i had my son i have been the happiest person in the world, i love being a mom. I thought everything would stay the same as always between my stepson and i. We have always had a good relationship, i didnt think those feeling would change, but recently i find myself super super annoyed with him. Any tiny thing he does just makes me crazy, i used to look forward to him being here with us and i find now that it just stresses me out thinking about it. I dont want to feel like this but i dont know how to fix it or make myself feel differently.
I in no way despise my stepson, i just have been having a hard time dealing with my feelings towards all of this and towards him. I know none of this is his fault and i do my best to not let my negative feelings affect him. Its not easy though i just want to scream sometimes i wish i knew what to do. Sad

Comments

LaMareOssa's picture

Submitted by LaMareOssa on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 11:41am

I know how you feel. I felt the same way with my SD when I first married my DH. When we married we had a 6 month old daughter together and DH had SD every other weekend. When SD would come over, I would get extremely irritable to the point where I didn't want SD around. But, as DD got older, those feelings went away. I had to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Once I found out why, I was better able to understand the feelings and deal with them accordingly.

I think you need to do some searching within yourself and find out exactly why you're feeling the way you do and when you do find out, you will be better able to handle the feelings. Smile

krk10's picture

Submitted by krk10 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 2:48pm

thank you for that...
its good to know that i am not the only one who has gone through this. Its extremely hard but its good to know that if i stick to it and try things should get a little easier. guess it just takes some adjusting on everyone's part before things can get any easier.

Bex_S's picture

Submitted by Bex_S on Fri, 06/28/2019 - 4:39am

Same here. I feel like my son is devoid of attention from his father (it is improving as he gets older), but then I have to put up with seeing the red carpet rolled out for brat SD when she comes over, even though she behaves awfully and so I believe shouldn't be rewarded with the level of attention and reverence she gets from her father. If anything it makes her behaviour worse. When she's here it's like my son doesn't fucking exist to DH, unless SD is hanging off our son like a bad smell (even though she obviously hates him), to get attention from her father for playing perfect sister. Makes me sick. In your case it just seems like everyone needs to find their place in the new status quo. It does get better; and in my experience, men don't get that gushing, fuss over baby all the time love that women get for babies. They tend to bond with the child more as they grow and become more responsive and interactive with the world around them.