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So we went to FMIL for tea and cake last night... OMG!

foxxystep's picture

I don't know what to really say about this, other than HOLY MACARONI!

So last year we treated her to having her hair done and get spa treatment... okay lemme be honest I treated her to that last year as a birthday gift, not WE... So for my birthday I didn't as much a get a happy birthday text message. So this year I decided to do go there with a cake for her b/day.

She mentions to my SO that she's gonna visit her sister in another city, and my SO looks at his mother and says to her straight "No, you're not going". So she asks "why", and he says to her "because I said no, that's why". So she looked very dejected and sat back and took a slice of cake and sip of tea, looking very sad.

When he left the room, she said "please speak to your man, I haven't seen my sister in a while". I said "why do you let him speak to you that way to begin with? You shouldn't have had to ask him, you should have told him, he can come stay in his house for theose days while you're gone".

He terrorises his mom and sister. The entire family is afraid of this man, because he enforces his way on others. I am always surprised at this when we're at his family, because in my house, there's no such thing as "asking another adult for permission to do things"... If I am going out, I inform him, and do just that. Anyway, so we get into the car to go home, and started the conversation...

I said "if my son EVER speaks to me the way you just spoke to your mother, please take a gun and shoot me.". He asks "why?"... I looked at him in horror. WTF! I told him that he's not his mothers parent, at which age did he start treating her like a child? And why? Needless to say an argument ensued, but hell no man! i blame his mother for creating a situation like that with her kids. She created it and allowed it as the adult at some point in their lives... He now has socially immature skills to deal with the rest of the world, and passed that genes off to his own son, FSS7... there's no way I am allowing my son to grow up with those messed up values. Gross.

Comments

foxxystep's picture

LOL, i think I was supposed to be born a man too, but he ran in front of the line and stole MY balls too! LOL!

His reason for not wanting her to go was because her sister never visits her. HUH? She hardly visits anyone, and because of HIM, I suspect his extended family members started visiting less and less anyway.

i seriously think that woman did herself a disservice when her husband left her with 3 kids to raise... She made herself TOTALLY helpless, and she's now totally dependent on the kids, and that's why they treat her like that. It terrible behaviour, but what perfectly healthy 56 year old woman do you know who sits at home, does not work, lives under her sons roof and has the daughters pay for her clothing and son for the food as well. She does NOTHING.

My attitude with them is not even not my kid not my problem.. its "not my people, not my problem"... For the past 2 years whenever i go into my SO's house, i act like a guest. I don't even get myself a glass of water, because those people are strange... very strange... LOL

Oh, and having to listen to how their very dead relatives are "unhappy" anout certain things and are "restless"... I swear these people are weird. LOL!!! I think I stay also because of the entertainment factor.

foxxystep's picture

My own mom is 67 YO, and she lives alone, drives around, lectures all over the country, is TOTALLY independent. She has no need to work, but does so cos she loves her profession. She even flies to the coast with my BD3 twice a year for mini-breaks. i don't get this strange family, I really don't. They really are weird, could easily fall vicitim to a sect. The whole lot of them. Almost like those people from "the hills have eyes", "wrong turn" or "children of the corn" Haaaaahaaa!!!

uncommon's picture

Um, wow. He needs to mind his own damn business. And frankly I would run at the speed of light from a man who behaved that way.

starfish's picture

i agree with uc, after mom kicks the bucket or when you tie the knot, he will be treating you the same way ~ count on it!

foxxystep's picture

Stepaside, I think that your relative may be like my SO. I swear he's not mean to me at all, which I find weird. That's why I fell in love with him, he's the sweetest most caring and helpful man ever... but to everyone else, he's a bully. its normally the other way round.

Now I pay him no attention and he sure as hell does not try being mean with me. He tries by sulking and other little Passive-Agressive tricks, but I totally ignore it. Even my friends who come over ask 'is he in one of his moods today'... if the answer is yes, then they grreet him, and we sit in the lounge and chat away. If he's in a good mood, he's the life of the party.

i think people behave badly because otheres allow them the freedom to. With me he knows if he sulks I simply ignore him. If we argue and he uses ONE cuss word, I simply leave and ask him that we resume this when he can speak to me in a respectful manner... People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

SS26 is like this, too! On one of our last visits (before disengagement), he actually walked into MY house, told me he didn't like a new piece of furniture I bought and then told me to get rid of it. WTF????? He treats his grandparents like this, too, and for some reason is allowed to get away with it. I've heard him say absolutely horrible things to DH, which are ignored. The boy is KRAZEEEEEE!!!!! I swear he's bi-polar. I really think this all stems from BM leaving all of them when the kids were so little. He has a ton of anger and pent up hostility towards everyone. He's not my kid, and I'd love to say he's not MY problem....but one of these days he's gonna let his anger loose on society and it will be everyone's problem!