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So frustrating... BM won't do ANYTHING

BellaMia's picture

Submitted by BellaMia on Fri, 03/18/2011 - 3:36pm

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I swear BM views my DH (her baby daddy) as an ATM. She and her husband (maybe you can turn a ho into a housewife afterall... maybe...) ALWAYS cry broke and act as if they can't do shit for SS11. He lives with us and visits her (1000+ miles away) for some breaks and the summer. She swore up and down she had no money to fly him home for spring break this past Tuesday. She finally came up with that money, but then said she didn't have the money for the unacommpanied minor fee. Guess who's supposed to come up with that?! Then we registered him for basketball and that was $150. He needs new basketball shoes, so we asked her to get them... Again, she's crying broke and says WE should get the shoes, too.

Here's what pisses me off: This bitch JUST quit her job about a month ago. Why? Because she was "tired of it." WTF??!?! Oh... did I mention that she pays NOT child support?! The only thing she has done for him in the past year is send him $50 worth of clothes. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

kerryann67's picture

Submitted by kerryann67 on Fri, 03/18/2011 - 3:43pm

THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sad

We just had a lawyer write a letter to BM to make her pay her share of medical bills for the skid. If it's in the divorce decree that she's supposed to pay something, maybe a lawyer can write a letter for you, too.

Kay2's picture

Submitted by Kay2 on Fri, 03/18/2011 - 10:45pm

I almost think I could have wrote this myself. Your BM sounds exactly like our BM, except I have an SD6, and BM is 2000+ miles away. BM and her live in BF have five kids between the two of them, four that live with the full time, and then we have SD 75% of the time. BM quit a job about 9 months ago because she wanted to be a SAHM. The youngest child in her home is 12 :?

She has a new job now, we will see how long this lasts. Oh yeah, she NEVER pays child support even when she is working. Her reason, she has two of her children living with her, and we only have one. Except the two children living with her do not belong to my SO :? Why should it matter to us that you have two other kids, we still support one of yours. Stupid woman!

(((hugs to you))) I totally feel for you. Smile

mommy_of_4's picture

Submitted by mommy_of_4 on Fri, 03/18/2011 - 11:46pm

Its almost the same for us except unfortunately for me, she only lives 45 minutes away. The divorce decree states she is suppose to pay half of all their expences and pay child support. Now she is almost $15,000 behind on CS and has paid $120 towards 2 different trips for SD. We get the sob story every so often about how she can't come pick up SD cause she doesn't have gas money. She gets her kid eow and she knows what days and as far as I'm concerned if she knows its something she needs to do then she should put some money away for gas at the beginning of every month. I just thought it was natural for a mother to do whatever she has to to be able to see her kids especially when its usually only 4 days a month!!

lm862003's picture

Submitted by lm862003 on Sat, 03/19/2011 - 1:38am

This type of situation is always a dilemna because we don't want our kids to go "without" but we also don't want our kids' "other" parents to become dependent on OUR money. I totally get that. I would say that you are the best judge of if your money is going towards your kid or not. In other words, if the mom wasnt in the picture would you be buying the basketball shoes for your kid anyways? Probably, right? I'm not trying to defend the mom here at all but just trying to put it in perspective. Your stepson shouldnt have to suffer just because his mom is broke or an idiot or both....

I hear you though!

mommy_of_4's picture

Submitted by mommy_of_4 on Sat, 03/19/2011 - 5:34am

She didn't say that the kid was going to go without, she simply said that she asked. Obviously we take care of the crap BM doesn't. Its just very frustrating that she can always have some lame ass excuse for not contributing. She wants all the rights of being a parent without doing any of the work. Thats sad. I am a BM and SM and I would do whatever I had to for my kids. And I love how BM's get so angry because we are raising their kids...well umm...if you aren't SOMEBODY has to!!

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sat, 03/19/2011 - 8:04am

I would not pay that unaccompanied minor fee, it sets a precedent that you will pay travel expenses.