So happy to find some support! It's been a rollercoaster week for my hubby and I. We have two kids 4 years and 7 months both boys. My husband has a 10 year old who we found out about once we were married and he was 2. Through many trials we managed to see him twice when he was 3 and 7. BM wanted money but dangled access only when convienent. It was hard for ss and his dad. Well last Thursday BM calls and asks if we want him! I didn't even hesitate! Yes! But what! Why! How can you just do that!? Shocked! Yeah that's the reaction I get from anyone I have told. I always try to see things from all sides and not judge and when we picked him up I hugged her and said thankyou! My brother discribed it like taking a puppy back to the pound only this is a child and he really thought that wasn't allowed! Anyways BM says she cries every day, he is angry and lying and stealing and telling everyone their bussiness. He ellegidly has ADHD and she was medicating him but thankfully stopped. I initially paniced wondering what I was bringing into our home. I cried, a lot! Then I reached out to the play group my 4 year old goes to and found out about positive parenting programs and help and the school has a wonderful councilor that we meet next Thursday. This week has been great! We were snowed on two days so got to spend some one on one. I know there are some real issues but vowed to deal with one thing at a time. BM has left him in the dark about so much! He asked why his mom couldn't just move in with dad again!? How do you explain to a 10 year old that you didn't even know he was born and never really had a relationship with her? I was a little hurt since I have been with his dad since before he was born! I took a deep breath and told him I loved his dad too much to ever let him go! That's when I realized we had a lot of ground to cover! Two days in he was talking to BM and excitedly told her he hadn't been yelled at once! My heart broke! And she tells him, just wait! Really! That's your response?! Wow! We were cuddled on the couch looking at a book on rocks he expressed intrest in and he says he doesn't get to snuggle with his mom, I tell him she is newly married with two new babies so she might not have as much time. All the while a little voice is screaming! Why am I defending this woman! Then the real shocker, he has swimming coming up so I ask of he has a swim report card, she tells me she will have to look for it, all his stuff has been packed away. He had been gone 4 days! Sigh! So it's been an interesting week so far. We are so happy to have this opportunity with him and that's what I'm going to focus on right now! Wish me luck!