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Am I rotten ? I FEEL rotten !

mindex's picture

Submitted by mindex on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 5:56pm

I FEEL rotten, because I feel like I SHOULD feel sorry for my SD's 15 & 19, but I don't! I have zero compassion for them. Their BM is a toothless, drugged out, ignorant, mess who refuses to work but chooses, rather, to shack up with whatever guy will tolerate her or feel sorry for her. DH and I just married in Jan. 2010 and she could not sign over custody fast enough after the wedding. So I came into this thinking that we would have the girls every other weekend,but I really got way more than I bargained for because they are now with us 24/7.They have no manners, they have no life skills,they do horrible in school, are terrified to be left alone in the house,and have no boundaries( "borrow" my things on a daily basis, and do not return them). I know that this is all due to the way BM has raised them ( DH just returned from serving in IRAQ/USMC). He is as bewildered as I am, and we support each other as best as we can.Any tips anyone has would be wonderful.I have no clue what I am doing, I am not their Mom. They are not my kids. :?

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Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 6:00pm

wow, with the kids at that age it is gonna be pretty hard to step into the mom role. I think the best thing you can do is discuss house rules and rules concerning your things. Pretty much, DON'T TOUCH MY THINGS..lol. I would throw a fit if my stepkids just went in and took my stuff regardless of whether they put it back or not. Heck, I didn't even allow my own kids to do that.

As far as enforcing the rules and discipline I think your DH is gonna have to totally step up and let them know if you're not happy, nobody is happy.

mindex's picture

Submitted by mindex on Fri, 09/30/2011 - 7:58am

We have a new situation now :
BM had planned on getting an apt. with SD 19. Move in date was set for tomorrow, Oct. 1st.
Well,surprise, surprise, she is NOT taking the apt., and instead moved away to Pittsburgh with her newest "burnout" BF last Sunday ( Sept. 25th)BM told both SD's not to tell ANYONE, especially Grandparents, DH and me ! Of course, they told us, they were sobbing their eyes out that "Mama" was leaving them AGAIN.
I am so sick of this crap I could scream.
Trying to stay positive, but it gets more difficult with every passing day.
I need to address this somehow, but I feel lost....