My problem is minor compared to many of you on this site but I am looking for objectivity here. I disengaged from SD about 7 years now - she is 28. In the past she was included in family holiday dinners that I prepared but that stopped over a year ago. I think it was Father's Day or Easter of 2009 - I prepared a nice dinner, invited friends over and per my DH's request personally invited SD to dinner. She came. We were just sitting down at the table, my DH left to get more drinks from downstairs, my friends raised their glass to toast the hostess and of course SD looked down at her plate and ignored the toast. She ate the dinner, stayed for dessert and left without thanking or acknowledging me. I told my DH, he said that since he wasn't there he couldn't address the problem. I haven't cooked a dinner and included SD since. If DH wants her there, he shops, cooks and cleans up.

Now my problem, it's DH's birthday and he has family coming to visit from out of town. He has asked that we have dinner here and that SD be included. I countered with we can all go out for dinner.

Am I being too stubborn? Should I give this another try or is my counter offer of dining out reasonable?