interesting conversation with ss7
I had to take the day off of work to watch my SS7 today. His mom is unreliable and was supposed to have him today but due to a fight with my DH yesterday I came to the rescue (as usual). We were at the grocery store today and SS said, "I could call you Mom, even though you're my stepmom, your my mom too." I said, "How would your mom like it if she heard you calling me 'Mom'?" He thought about it and said, "Well you're my mom too." I told him that he was right, that I'm one of his parents, but that his mom is the only one he should call "Mom."
It is always touching when he says stuff like that but it hurts my heart for his BM. I don't think she has any idea how big of a role (i.e. mother role) I play in his daily life. She is pretty useless, other than to cause drama in our lives. I so wish she could see how her lack of connection with him affects him every day. She seems to think she is the best mom ever but only has her son 3 weekends a month now. The schedule used to be one week with us and one week with her but she called DH freaking out that it was too much for her. Even with the little amount of time she has him, she has things come up and has my MIL watch him sometimes and frequently has random reasons that she can't have him for whole weekends. Usually its studying for finals, or work but really??? She only has 9 nights a month with him....
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You are far better person
You are far better person than I. My heart leaps and soars with joy when my SS discusses his BioDad's/SpermIdiot's status as a despicable human being and absolute dirt bag or when he comments that I am the only "real" dad he has ever had.
I am proud that my son (SS) calls me dad because I and only I am his dad. I am the only who does the actions of being his dad, loves him like a dad should and the only one who has earned the title.
The CO gave the SpermIdiot 8wks of visitation per year. 5 Wks summer, 1 Wk fall (in our area of residence), 1Wk winter, 1Wk spring. The SpermIdiot nor the SpermClan ever took the fall visitaiton in the 17yrs that the CO was in effect and the SpermIdiot averaged seeing my Skid only 3-7 days during the 7wks of visitation that my Skid averaged in SpermLand each year. Rarely was any of the 3-7days SS saw his SpermIdiot the entire day. At most it was usually only a few hours.
When he was young he was a pawn for SpermGrandMa to use in trying to control my wife and successfully used in controlling the SpermIdiot and when he was older he was the 7wk a year indentured baby sitter for his three younger SpermIdiot half sibs.
I have cheered (internally or in private of course) when SS has vented about his SpermIdiots idiocy.
For most of his young years he referred to the SpermIdiot as "Daddy (first name)". For a few years in his early to mid teens he called the SpermIdiot "dad" and for the past few years he refers to him by his first name. SS and the three younger also out-of-wedlock SpermIdiot Spawn refer to the SpermIdiot as "your father" when they are discussing the SpermIdiot when together or on the phone.
Is is wrong of me to feel joy over these things?
Naaaaaa. Right or not, is too much fun basking in his absolute state of detestable idiocy and particularly in his 100% success rate in earning the contempt of his spawn.
My skids want to call me some
My skids want to call me some version of mom, but BM went insane and thought I somehow was persuading the to do that when I said nothing of it!I feel bad telling a kids that they can't call me a form of mom. Their own mom is very much in their life so I get where she's coming from and I respect her wishes. It's heartwarming just to know that they feel that way about me