You are supposed to be no less than 14 years of age for fu*kbook. IF the BP reports it, they will delete it.

Little girls tend to mock their moms. That may be your answer?

( ie ) She needs more strong, bold, positive female role models in her life to show her that she has a brain, the same as a man and can make it in life without some asshole man...

" Woman Power !!! "

I would bet it is her mom. Keep up the positive image and think about exposing her to "ideas" of being a strong woman when she grows up. (when you have her.) Tell her ( 9 years old right?) that she can go ANYWHERE in life and still be a beautiful woman!!! Yes she can, we all can! (nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes though- the key is always to learn from everything life throws at you.)

Kudos.

Hi there,

I know where you are with the whole boyfriends and girlfriends thing. We had a very similar drama only a few weeks ago (You would have thought the world was ending).

Tweens are familiar with Boyfriends and Girlfriends. They see them on TV. They understand that break ups are sad, cheating is "bad", valentines day is for couples etc. Whether you like it or not, girls are noticing boys, and boys are noticing girls. Its normal and natural and healthy at that age to be doing so. I agree your step daughters' reaction is surprising and I was just as concerned in my situation. Kids maybe in boyfriend and girlfriend "relationships" but they don't mean the same as they do to an adult or teenager. My stepson was upset because he was 'dumped.' He was devastated. After talking about over a few days, he said that he really wanted a girlfriend because all the other boys did, and now he was the only one who didn't. It wasn't about this girl (who he said was the love of his life and he wanted to marry) it was about feeling left out (which compounded other issues he was having). It may be that your step daughter has just found another way to express a feeling she is having. A feeling she may not really understand and the "break-up" may give that feeling a context.

Seeing her teacher is a good idea so you are all on the same page, and if you think she should have someone else to chat too then its time she should. Push the idea, no harm can come out of it as no one makes a big deal out of it. (Finding a female one is a good idea.)

I hope this is useful, best of luck.

Delilah
www.howtolivewithaliens.blogspot.com

I use these things as teachable moments. I've been talking to my dd13 since she was about that age about relationships because she started expressing an interest at that early age as well. I have talked til I am blue in the face about what a healthy relationship is, what is age appropriate, etc. Can't say she always listens but I do think she is more educated than most about the subject. I jump all over statments such "I would do anything for him". I think the other poster was right in that our culture-Nickelodean for goodness sake's promotes this kind of stuff. But I would also say that all kids are different and it is not terribly abnormal for her ot have an interest in relationships at this point. My other dd will be 9 this week and couldnt care less. Oh, I think she may have a crush here and there but she would tell you there is no way in heck she'd do a darn thing for a silly boy

I had my first boyfriend at 11 or 12. This meant we held hands at dances and passed notes and sometimes talked on the phone. We dated for a whole week. lol. I have one of my old journals with a huge flaming heart and his name in it. :? I'm obviously speaking as an outsider, but the majority of my female friends were obsessed with some boy or another by first or second grade. I think, more than anything, it's a cultural issue that varies from community to community. Growing up, I lived in a very sexist community in which men and boys alike were considered superior to women and it was widely acknowledged that women's duty in life was to please their husbands (seriously). Naturally, many of my female friends were over the moon with the idea of being in love and enacted those sorts of feelings and scenarios whenever they could. It would not surprise me that she is acting and feeling this way if this is what she sees at home with BM. On a subconscious level, she may believe it is her job to find some man/boy and be the woman who will do anything for him. While not surprising (if this is actually the case) it's definitely not healthy and doesn't forecast positive things in the future.

I know this might sound goofy, but positive female role models in real life sometimes don't compete with all the glitzy media kids deal with every day. Do you think it would be possible to stock up on some girl power movies, books, tv shows, etc.? There are tons of comic books with positive, strong, no-nonsense female characters. Even disney produces alot of films with kick-a$$ females for main characters. I'm not sure what your stance is on video games, but I think in this case a good age-appropriate game with a female protagonist might go a long way.

Just some ideas. Good luck!

Hi, also that line about 'and I mean anything' sounds like it came from a movie or soap opera - maybe she heard it in a movie and thought it was really impressive somehow?

Both my SD and BM say things like this. Like they seriously will say something in a normal conversation like, 'love means never having to say you are sorry'??????!!!! WTF?

So that phrase while it is so shocking, could also be a drama queen thing.

I think my BM got my SD saying things like this, because neither of them seem to understand a healthy male/female relationship, and BM encourages SD to feel desperate to have a man, any man. And also oddly, to hate men, at the same time.? but that is another story.