Steps to take to document BM's dangerous path?
Hi all, and thanks in advance for any advice you're able/willing to give.
I will try to keep this short. It's an awful topic, one that unfortunately I'm certain that some of you may be familiar with.
How do we document a BM's first steps at what we believe may be laying groundwork to claim that we are being sexually inappropriate with DH's sons- my SSs? We've said from the beginning that we will put nothing past her when it comes to making stuff up to get what she wants. We're pretty sure that she has (undiagnosed, and likely to remain so) NPD. Constant projection, lying, drama, you name it. She does not want to remain in this area but needs to via their divorce agreement. They have 50/50 custody and the only way she will likely ever be able to take their boys to be near her family will be to come up with something big.
She has had an order of protection filed and granted against her six months ago, but DH had it lifted because she seemed like she was getting healthier and was going to be able to be rational.
I will be so glad to share more details if anyone who has been through this has questions that will help to quantify- but like I said it is an AWFUL topic and if she wasn't so dangerous, she'd be comical. I do appreciate any time anyone may take to respond to this.
Keep a detailed journal on
Keep a detailed journal on your computer. We have one on my laptop as well as a written one on calendar in my bedroom. Keep a file in your closet for physical evidence (such as the protective order). Whatever you may be able to find online, print it and keep in this file (strange facebook posts, etc). You may not need everything you collect, but it's better to have it than not to have it.
Get SS into counseling or therapy asap. Talk with his school, counselors, teachers... You do not need to let them know the details, but let them know you are concerned.
We are in a situation, however we are on the other side. Skids sdad's ex wife has claimed the sdad has been sexually inappropriate with her daughter and my ss6. There are huge signs, and we have been cooperating with the investigators. However, BM and her husband are not speaking with investigators, are not willing to have kids taken for interviews (though we are, and the other mom is), and are making themselves look guilty by noncooperation.
We believe the guy (who is bi) and BM have been inappropriate with the kids. They encourage the little ones, ages 6 and 4, to kiss and see how long they can. The sdad 'moons' the kids, including a 13 year old girl and 9 year old girl (my SDs), and his young daughters. Might be a joke to a teenage boy, but girls should not see their sdad's harry ass and ballsack. And ss6, who he shows great favoritism to, draws pictures of boys AND girls... he has described girls anatomies, and says they let the 4 year old girl run around naked.
If you notice anything out of the ordinary, pictures the kid has drawn, unusual things he says, file it and/or record it in a journal. The investigator in our case was very upset and SS6's pictures he drew. Your BM may be coaching him in these kinds of things to pin it on you, so be prepared.
Wow. I am so sorry to hear
Wow. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Thank you for sharing your experience- I will be keeping your family in my thoughts- and for your advice. Please take care RaeRae...