Buddhist approach to blended families
Forums:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/behind-great-anger-is-great-pain-dont-take-it...
This is from the Comments:
... One of the most prevalent adages I encountered through personal growth experiences is
"Hurt people hurt people". It is generally a matter of projection, and if you're standing in front of them on a bad day, or even a good day, you will be the one to receive their worst.
Intresting.
I never had to deal with a
I never had to deal with a minor stepchild but I've had a nasty person or two in my life.
I just totally believe that no one should tolerate toxic people in their life for one second more than absolutely required.
The Tiny Buddha comments
The Tiny Buddha comments resonate. I wish I'd seen this years ago. It seems like such a simple thing, but it has been so hard and I got so caught up in their drama triangle. I have built up so much anger and frustration over the decades that I have to work on letting go. My anger and frustration showed them they got to me, which was apparently what they wanted. I'm working on not giving it to them anymore. Hard, but worth it. That's my goal this year. To let it all go and be the peaceful, loving person I actually am. And to only allow peaceful, loving people in my life. That means a lot of family, both blood and in-laws/skid have to change or go. I don't think they will change, they seem to love drama and strife, so how to cut them loose and avoid the poison that will come my way is the challenge.
I agree! Well said, KK!I am
I agree! Well said, KK!I am also trying not to have poisonous people in my life.
Not getting caught up in the drama... better in the dharma!
lol
I've never understood why
I've never understood why people who have been harmed want to harm others. Especially their children. One would think they would swear to be just the opposite.
Good question. My theory is
Good question. My theory is that they cannot help it. If they have a personality disorder their view of reality is skewed and their ability to see things in just one, self-aggrandizing, light is amazing. I.e. what is best for my child? Total affiliation with me against the targeted parent! I am the only one taking care of this child... As someone said on a different issue their brain is less a check for their emotional urges, and more a lawyer for them. This is how teenagers function. Some adults have a lot of growing up they need to do.
Yes I have had to deal with
Yes I have had to deal with my SDs nasty BM for years who has done nothing but bad mouth me behind my back! But I finally made up my mind to distance myself from this toxic person as much as I can! I never talk to her unless we are in public! I feel like if you treat me like shit, then you get little to no access to me.
I am a nice person and everyone in my life loves me so I know its not me! I have a well rounded life and I have figured out that this woman is just a jealous person since I have everyhing she wishes she had!
She had a kid with someone that she drove away with her antics. I think it bothered her that he married me, and never her! Oh well so sad! Not! lol!