Belle, Your husband will love your child as much as his first child and be as excited. Babies are always loved and special no matter what order they are born. BUT, your baby will be your husband's first baby to have his/her parents together forever. Can't beat that.

I used to feel the same way but I found out it really was special for him. I just had my first baby and when I was pregnant i cried saying I didn't want to do it because it wouldn't mean as much to him. When our daughter was born he cried as he did when his first one was born. Then i realized that even if I have another kid I won't think any less of him/her because i already had one! I was silly to think he would think less! Lol.

Sweetie,

You cannot help how you feel. My XH and I shared all these experiences together with our first son. I sometimes wish we could have worked things out but that was not meant to be. My husband and his xwife had three sons. By the time I found out I was pregnant with DD he had been through it three to my one. This pregnancy was really do big deal to him, but would ask about what was happening in it once in awhile so he could swap stories with a pregnant friend he worked with LOL. He went to my ultrasound to find out if the baby was a boy or girl. He went to my last doctors appointment to find out when we were being induced. He went with me to the hospital to be induced, even thouh I was already in labor. The whole time he is flipping through channels, missed getting pictures of DD in birthing room because he was sure we had plenty of time and wouldnt go get the camera or video camera out of vehicle. He also told me to mash the button again on the nurse call rather than go get them when I asked, made the joke that he thought I wanted to have natural labor anyways for which he got the finger. Then when the nurse said it was time to push, he was oh... you dilated fast. Stood at the head of the bed like an old pro (lol they said he tried to watch YSS be born but got sick). But.... when that baby came....he was there. He didnt spend the night with me because he had gotten burned really bad by grease two weeks before DD was born and had to have his arm soaked and scrubbed every day for weeks at our local hospital. I had my tubes tied the next morning because I couldnt take BC, was barely 21 with two kids, and didnt really realize I had other options such as clipping my tubes or something less final. The day I left the hospital I had such a headache, and kept it for days. Finally figured out it was a spinal headache but I couldnt even hold my head up or talk basically. DH took great care of DD and me. It was his first daughter but there was no delay in changing her diapers, making her bottles, etc. etc.

So to make a long story short, this baby will be new to him too. You two will get to share watching your new baby smile and crawl and walk for the first time. Plus, the experience of him being a dad before will help with the new baby.

Yes my hubby was excited to marry me too! You have to think the first time around didn't go that well for him, so how special could it be? Lol! It's going to be special for him this time because he's with YOU!!

My dh never married bm. In fact other than having a kid I'm lucky that dh and I do have a lot of firsts together. She may have had his first kid, but I had his 2,3, and 4th kids! I forgot who's tagline this is, but I like it. It's something like, "I may not be his first wife, but I'm going to be his last!" (somethig like that.) So yeah, sure she may have gotten the first marriage, child, house whatever from him, but you will get the last (and best!) from him.

Mine had a courthouse wedding, so he's determined to have a real wedding. He wants different things than he had before, and he looks over the moon anytime we say anything about having a baby. But, he's very good at listening when I express these types of concerns, so I think it has become important to him to make sure we both feel good about things.

I think this is a common feeling and it seems to stem from jealousy....and I wouldn't be surprised if your man felt the same way if you had another child (or marriage) before him. It's totally common, although I'm not saying that to invalidate your feelings!

I had this concern at first, too, when I found out I was pregnant. I told DF that I was really jealous that he had shared the birth of his son with BM, and that it would be the first for me but not for him. He pointed out to me that BM had a child before him and that he understood how I felt because he was in a similar situation. Then he also comforted me by reminding me that he and BM were broken up when she told him she was pregnant, they were trying to make it work and when she actually had their son, they were not in a good place, either. He said he just wanted to see his son and that he didn't really care about BM at that point. (Plus they had a HUGE fight about the last name while they were in the hospital) He told me that with our baby, he is so excited because this is his first child he will SHARE with someone he truly loves, and he also added that it will be so hard to see me in pain or if I have a difficult labor because he doesn't want me to hurt! He truly helped me to feel better, although I ended up also saying, "I NEED you to make me feel like this throughout the whole pregnancy, okay?" He's never said one word regarding his past experience.

I suggest just being honest with him and saying an "I need you to be..." statement so that he might think twice before he'd ever say something (not that he'd say it intentionally, guys are just dumb sometimes!) to you.

We just had our 2nd child and I totally understand what you're feeling. I knew that DH's bond with SS was over the top from DH's side - he rarely sees or speaks with SS but raised him until he was 13 when he went to live with BM. He has zero relationship with SD who was born during the divorce.

When I had our DS in 2007 - I felt like DH wouldn't love our DS as much because he wouldn't have the energy - he puts so much into the relationship with SS - But now he and DS are like BFFs - Daddy tops the list and I think DH enjoys it more because he's older and has more patience.
We just had DD about 7 weeks ago and we found out we were having a girl the day after DH was served with papers to terminate his rights to SD. It ruined the whole experience for me and was sure it would for DH but it didn't. He is so attached to DD that there are times I have to ask to hold my daughter.

I think the things I have to remember are:
He choose to marry me - we didn't get married because I was pregnant
We choose to have DS and DD - there was no oopps I'm pregnant conversation