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WANT TO GIVE UP

jennysmith's picture

Submitted by jennysmith on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:22am

I know I'm being weak and selfish, but I really don't feel like trying to solve my problems with stepson. I'm tired of being hurt and feeling like I don't matter to my husband when it comes to his precious son. My H is so fake with his son and it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. Right now I feel all the aggrevation is just not worth it since nothing has changed. It doesn't matter if I speak up to my H or don't say a word, it always the same result. H refuses to admit that he treats his son differently than the rest of the children (he tries to be the cool dad, letting his son drink, get tatoos, etc.) I know he has a lot of guilt for not being in his life for so long, but I feel I'm the only one suffering the consequences now. Anyone else in this situation/state of mind??????

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hrtbroke40's picture

Submitted by hrtbroke40 on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:34am

I was everyday until 2 days ago and now I feel devastated that he left. Funny how you think you want something and then when it happens it is so worse than you thought. I keep holding onto the fact that this only hurts for a little while but living with him hurts everyday. I never mattered to my hubby so i feel for anyone going through anything right now in their marriage. Hold tight and do what you have to do for yourself because in the end you can only count on yourself.

beebusdriver93's picture

Submitted by beebusdriver93 on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:38am

I thought my end to this maddiness was close...and when he says he was leaving...of course he wasnt but it was to push my buttons...I thought my heart would fall out to my feet. The thought of starting over...of getting back out there scared the hell of me....but as this morning approached I knew I have to change something and it should have started yesterday....I am tired of feeling sorry for myself...and million people have told me I am right and I need to do something but I just havent yet....but I am getting stronger and if BIG IF he doesnt get it this time...then I am ending it...hurt or no hurt...it cant hurt anymore then seeing the hurt on my daughters face because of something mean or stupid his daughter said or for that fact something stupid he said....NO MORE....I am a grown woman in control of my own life...not a man running it for me!

beebusdriver93's picture

Submitted by beebusdriver93 on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:34am

Yes ...new to this site...just found it yesterday and boy am I glad I did....glad to see I am not the only one out there in this situation. So far with me nothing I have done or tired to do has worked and I am getting to the point where I don't think it ever will until he opens his eyes....My thought...your kids will grow up someday and leave you behind for a world of their own....if you push away the people you love(wife,sisters,brothers,friends)one day when your kids are grown and gone...your gonna be all alone looking back wondering why you didn't do things differently!!!
So my thoughts are there now....If I don't change things now in a few years I will look back and wonder why I didnt have the guts to change what I didnt like and if I couldnt change it I needed to walk away....there are a million more people out in this world who would love to have a woman like me...instead i live in a home where my daughter cherishes the ground I walk on & instead of taking time with her...I am worried about what the fight will be about today....what will his crazy daughter do today to put us in a fight.....We need to wake up!

jennysmith's picture

Submitted by jennysmith on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:48am

Wow, I'm so glad I'm not alone in my feelings. Right now I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown because of all of this. Me and H have went round and round about our issues regarding our s/s. His answer "we will agree to disagree". Easy answer for him, in other words "it doesn't matter what you think, I'm going to do what I want and your feelings do not matter". I am quite tired of going through this drama. If only he would consider my feelings...

beebusdriver93's picture

Submitted by beebusdriver93 on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:52am

Is it that they dont think about our feelings or is it that they think if they dont do this or that for their child something bad is gonna happen...well something bad is gonna happen in this relationship if he doesnt do what should be done with his evil daughter....because when I am done I am done...you might as well forget my number and my face because there are no more chances..you had a million chances to step up and be a parent instead you made me look like the bad guy for saying something about it...but I wonder what is out there...i am settling for this....and what is this...this is fighting every other day over something stupid his child did or didnt do or did do but wasnt supppose to...this is hell...and I dont like it one bit...tomorrow he might have suckered me back into to this game...but I will rise above it and you will to......What are you losing....REALLY!