More anecodotes from the "Crazy B****" files....
If you read my previous intro postings in the General Discussion forum, then you probably know that my husband and I feel that we are definitely dealing with Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and we suspect BM of also Munchhausen by proxy, however, we are not sure how to prove it to a judge since it has only recently been recognized by the courts. She doesn't purposely make him sick though, so it could really be a case of severe transference of hypochondria because she too always goes to the doctor and was always claiming new illnesses that she had but never actually got diagnosed with. Her faking illnesses with doctors for attention and an excuse not to do anything really upsets me because I do have chronic pain/fibromyalgia and RA. Even with medication, I live with pain, fatigue and more every damn day. She should have to feel what it is REALLY like to be sick. Hypochondriacs makes it more difficult on those who actually ARE sick with something that doctors cannot find diagnoses for. Like I said though, it would be extremely difficult to prove due to BM's family's crooked legal connections, multiple lawyers in the family, money and unlimited resources.
My husband provides excellent full health/dental/vision coverage (it's a PPO Premiere Plus plan, which is the most expensive one out there) for SS, as well as pays over half of the medical expenses. He receives bills from BM every week for SS's doctors and medications. He is on at least 5 different types of meds at any one time. We once got a bill from her for over $800 for 1 month of doctor visits! We found out that the person actually behind all of these bills and expenses is BM's evil mother -- SS Grandmother. Like I said before, she is the one who is loaded with money and will spend any amount of money if she thinks it will cause us to lose any money. Apparently, she has been paying for taking SS to a psychiatrist 2 times a week!! Even the most severe mentally ill patients don't visit a psychiatrist that often! The point behind her doing this is 2 reasons; first - she wants to make it look like SS is very troubled and that it is all our fault; and second - she wants to force us to pay more money. $800 means absolutely nothing to her since she lives off of her rich husband and gets money whenever she wants, but $800 means A LOT to us and she knows it. She is basically paying for the doctor secretly since BM is supposed to be the responsible party for payment, then giving the bill with the remaining portion - $800 to BM to send to us so that we would have to scrape up $800 and give it to BM who then pockets the money. BM's mother would much rather do this then just give BM any money because this is a way for her to enjoy being able to hurt my husband. We already pay over $1300/month in CS for SS to BM and now an additional $800 is the scheme they tried to come up with. It is hard to believe that anyone in their right mind would choose to pay money just to hurt someone and make them pay money; however, that is exactly how BM and her mother think. She has also purposely gone to dr's out-of-network to try to rack up more expenses to bill us for.
He goes to every specialist imaginable and has had all types of expensive testing done at the insistence of BM, not because the doctor thinks something is wrong. We have seen SS go from a loving, healthy, and happy boy to now a child who tells everyone "I am a very, very sick boy". It's appalling and upsetting that this has become his identity according to him. He has also become extremely, extremely SPOILED. His BM and her mother have absolutely NO LIFE and they have developed a very unhealthy life of excessive focus around him. He is catered to and made to feel like his wants should be everyone's first and foremost priority. When he acts up and gets in trouble at school, he is not punished. A prime example of this is when SS was acting up in his grandmother's car and refused to sit down. Instead of disciplining him, his grandmother paid him $300 to sit still!!! They do this because they want to literally buy his love and make him not want to come be with us. When he comes for his visitations with us, he receives packages loaded with toys every day that he is here with cards and letters telling him how much all of their family, friends, pets miss him and want him to come home asap. She even takes pics of all of their animals and puts captions by their mouths as though they are talking. BM and her mother have no life because they are really just not great people. They are selfish and not well liked -- including their own family. and, therefore, BM and her mother have created this hyper focus on SS instead. Sick, sick, sick.....
You do not have to pay BM
You do not have to pay BM directly for your half of any medical bills. Contact the doctors and work out an arrangement to make your payments directly to the provider. Our BM and her crazy mom did this to our SS too, always taking him to the dr. for every little sniffle, cough, headache, etc. If your BM or her mom already paid the dr. bill, then you should still pay your half to the provider and they will issue any refunds to BM or her mom as appropriate. You may also want to contact a lawyer for advise, but if BM or grandma are taking the child to dr.s who are out of network, then they might be responsible for 100% of the bill. Otherwise, what's the point of paying for health insurance?
OMG, Mrs. Behavin - I think
OMG, Mrs. Behavin - I think our BMs must be related!
Our BM ALSO takes the kids in for anything and everything and racks up huge bills for us to pay. Earlier this year, my DH was on COBRA insurance and as of Jan. 1, the company switched insurances to a high deductible, low premium insurance. Of course, we had no choice on it. As soon as BM must have got the new information, she took BOTH kids in for CAT scans! Our $4000 deductible was met by Jan. 15th!
She also takes them to all sorts of different doctors (the initial "new patient" visit costs more than an "established patient" visit) and had SD in counseling. Although I agree that SD NEEDS counseling, as soon as the psychiatrist would mention anything to BM that SHE might be causing issues, she would switch to a different one.
I also think that she memorizes any insurance information she gets to find out what is NOT covered by insurance and then have those things done! She got my SS's teeth sealed 2 weeks after he turned 14. Insurance paid for sealing up UNTIL age 14.
I guess I have no advice for you - OH - yes I do! This is something we are going to get changed if we ever have to go back to court. Our CO says that my DH is to pay BM 1/2 of medical expenses that she sends to us. I think it should be changed to DH pays the PROVIDERS 1/2 of the bill! I said, who is to say that BM isn't racking up all these bills in order to claim bankruptcy and be ahead from the money that DH paid for medical expenses?
I don't see any court having an issue with the dad paying the doctors directly rather than the BM...
I see someone beat me to the
I see someone beat me to the punch! Haha
OmG our BM is just like
OmG our BM is just like yours.. She takes the skids to the dr for everything. Especially my SS, he has had alopecia which at 11 has completly gone away (just a bad haircut her gf gave him), asthma (only at her house, he's never had an attack at our house), adhd, you name it. She takes the skids to the er instead of going to the dr, which makes me absolutely crazy!!! I was brought up to only go to the er if a limb was falling off, common colds, you went to the dr, if it was a broken bone, you went to the immediate care when it was open. And yes I waited till the next day for when they were open. My dad was a "we'll wait and see how it is in the morning" type of guy.
Our court order states we pay her half of the bill, but the bills get sent to BF directly, so he pays half and tries to get her to pay half, which doesn't happen, so he pays the whole thing. What drives me even crazier is how many no show fees there are and the cost of them.. seriously if you can't make an appt YOU set up cancel. She switches dr's for the skids if she doesn't like their diagnosis or lack of meds they give said skid. She did start laying off all the dr visits after we gave her a long list of bills she owes, she's laid off but still hasn't paid him.
Oh well, what can I do.. Wait 7 more years..
sorry it's taken me so long
sorry it's taken me so long to reply, crazy wknd... Oh my God, it's like we all live parallel lives! It's scary how many crazy, evil BMs are out there running around procreating! I have always maintained that people should have to go apply for and pass tests in order to be approved to have kids. They should have to go through the same process of evaluations and tests that we go through to get drivers licenses. It seems so wrong that any crackhead unfit woman can pop a kid out, but it takes an act of congress or God and years of evaluations for competent couples to adopt a child!
Those of us with crazy BMs and BFs have gotten so used to having to deal with these horrible situations that we forget that it is NOT the norm and that the majority of divorced people with kids don't go through this hell that we deal with. I have many friends that have kids and got divorced and when I tell them some of the things we deal with, they are horrified! We have taken her to court and/or our lawyers have dealt with 4 years of her bulls**t. She truly believes that the court orders don't apply to her and that somehow she should get whatever she wants. We are getting ready to nail her ass to the wall because we keep careful records of all correspondence and violations of court orders, as well as emails where her true motives and bitterness show. Her newest crap excuse for not sending him the last 2 times was because there is a new $25 fee for unaccompanied minors that has to be paid at the time of their departure so we can't pay it online when we book SS's ticket. Because it is not technically addressed in the court order that she has to pay it, she refuses to do it and won't even pay it upfront and let us reimburse her like we always do for all the crap medical bills she sends. It's so obvious and petty and she will be held responsible for all of her actions when we take her to court for enforcement and violating court orders. It took 4 years for the judge to finally say to her that she needed to stop with all of this bitter crap. He refused to give her even one of the 30 requests she tried to file this last time. Now, her lawyer is tying up the paperwork on his rulings and since it seems that she has finally worn out her welcome in our county, she is now trying to have the cases moved to her county of residence in the hopes of using more of her family's influence to get her way.
Our BM is also a serious
Our BM is also a serious hypochondriac. She's posted online about doctor-shopping, she always has a changing list of ailments, and she claims to have had two heart attacks at 30 years old, as well as lupus, fibromyalgia, cancer, and numerous other complaints. And the fake pregnancies! On my god, the fake pregnancies. Just for some perspective, she and I both had a complete tubal ligation (at different times, of course) by the same OB/GYN. He cuts, cauterizes, and ties those tubes so that the chance of pregnancy is a one-in-a-billion kind of thing. She has now claimed to be pregnant three or four different times SINCE getting her tubes tied. She even posted pics online of her "pregnant"...she was just fat. It's sad, really.
I read these stories and I
I read these stories and I think, "Wow, they are just gluttons for punishment"...but I sound the same way. How did I get here?
I agree that payments should be made directly to medical office. Then, the amt. will not be counted as part of your taxable income on your federal return. My SK's BM has a number of ailments herself and a tight control over what diagnosis' she will accept of her daughter (SD 25 has severe autism, but has never been tested or told this yet was prescribed meds for ADHD which she clearly does not have) and takes a billion meds for other things, asthma has recently been added to the list (I've never seen her so much as out of breath?!) However, she now uses an inhaler twice a day. BM woke me up early Christmas Eve morn to tell DH in a panic that SD 25 had forgotten her inhaler at home. I overheard him say, "Oh no, I've been up for hours"...
Did I mention SD's dog requires $80/bag dogfood for his allergies? They don't bother to figure out what those allergies are. DH has been asked to drive over 2 hours out of his way to pick up this special food from the vet during the work day. BM even has her boyfriend convinced he should go on disability. It's no wonder BM 46, SD 25, and SS 26 have never worked a full time job. SS 26 has a degree in business DH paid for. WTF. Sometimes I have to talk myself down from the screaming that goes on in my head. Our counselor told DH that "people come before animals", yet this past Christmas weekend, DH made (2) round trips to BM's to pick up or drop off SD's dog (lives 45 min away) DESPITE the fact that SS 26 was going the same way and could have done it ("I will not allow a dog in my car"). Who paid the insurance and excise on that car for eons? Who let you store your wreckage in our yard for a year when you blew a stop sign? So you have to vacuum a car? Grow up!
One day I will tell him what I really think of him, but not today.
Perhaps the most egregious complaint I have of BM is not when she expected DH to dogsit her 12 dogs (9 are chihuahuas, many in diapers due to laziness) on OUR kid free weekend...no I've got one better! It's when she called DH just before the holidays a couple years back to ask if he would post bail for her boyfriend's son, "otherwise
he will probably spend Christmas in jail". I was in the background coaching him to say what I knew he could not, "No. Nooo. No. NoWuh. No! He was pissed at me, but at least he listened. I knew we'd never see the money again...and we don't even like him! I challenge you, dear reader, to try and top these incredibly true stories. Whatever you are going through. Believe me, I feel your pain.
I'm new to the site and just
I'm new to the site and just read this. Wow, I have been dealing with my Ex behaving this way, and also his crazy mom and family. Supposedly the evil grandmother has Tuberculosis, and kidney/gall stones along with Crohn's disease, and the two youngest kids that belong to the grandma supposedly have heart conditions and Lupus, and have even been hospitalized even though they were not actually "sick." My daughter's dad had claimed illnesses that he never got treatment for or showed symptoms of, like saying he had liver disease and didn't have more than 10 years to live, and a bleeding ulcer...etc They also had a stage where they took my child to the doctor every other weekend and obtained antibiotics for her, and she would throw up in my car on the way home every weekend when I picked her up. This behavior is so disgusting, especially when you have seen people living with Lupus and other conditions and how sick and debilitated they are, and how careful they have to be. I honestly didn't know anyone else who had been through that until today...
I think mine is related too!
I think mine is related too! She has had our son on so many medicines they started counter acting and then when the doctor at the local er wanted him transferred to a children's hospital she was going to drive him down there them saying it was dangerous and until me and my husband stepped in and said hey look they think it would be safer to go in the ambulance! Then she wanted to let her "friend" whom I believe was doped up at the time to ride in the ambulance instead of her so she could drive down there! When I said I or my husband would ride with him instead because I felt like he needed more than a "friend" to ride she changed her mind! We are always left getting our daughter or taking care of our daughter while she goes to all these specialists and has even had the nerve to tell us they told her to make funeral arrangements for our 9 year old whom tells everyone he is going to die! and there is nothing we can do about it we keep getting told! I think is so sad and sometimes when he says things like that I just want to hug him and walk out our door and beat the crap out of her! She has even had him put in special ed and making him ride the short bus! This all centers around the check she gets for him because he is so sick! We had the kids every other weekend and weeks at a time during the summer and never once have we had to rush him to the doctor! It is so frustrating knowing this is going on and not being able to do anything about it!