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DH and priorities

cyberwoman's picture

Submitted by cyberwoman on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 11:44am

I am so pissed I can hardly see. Today is DH's birthday. I have a nice present that I was ready to give him first thing in the morning. I wake up to find he is gone and have an email from him informing he is out playing ball. WTF on a Saturday? I call him no answer. He calls me back an hour later and tells me he is out playing ball with his son, and will stay there to have breakfast. Then he asks, "do you have any plans"? F*cking ass, yes I have plans but I guess I will make some new ones now.

I was so upset I did not even wish him happy birthday. We have been together 14 year and I feel he silently and repeatedly lets me know that his son is more of a priority for him that I ever will be. Mind you this young man has broken into our home, stole from us, lied to usm called me names, is a failure at school, can not and would not find gainful employment, never sent as much as a textmessage acknowledging Fathersdays or birthdays, yet Daddy keeps whoring for sons love and approval at all cost that is including his marriage.

My emotions are so turbulent right now, I can not decide if I should be angry, sad or just get the hell out of the house and have a good time on my own. Mind DH took MY F'IN CAR as he is too lazy to take his to the shop to get it repaired. Now I am sort of stuck. VERY UPSET!

Comments

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 3:44pm

Jesus, give it a f'ing break. And how many questions did you ask, for God's sake, it looks like an interrogation.

OP, I would be pissed too.

cyberwoman's picture

Submitted by cyberwoman on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 8:31pm

Thank you for your input. That is exactly what I am upset about the lack of communications. He could have said, hey babe I will be gone this am by the time you get up, so don't freak out, don't call me I will call you and BTW I am taking your car.

cyberwoman's picture

Submitted by cyberwoman on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 8:46pm

Nope he does not need my permission to leave the house... to play ball on Saturday... to play ball with his son... no I don't expect him to read my mind... yes he could have asked if he can take my car.. never asked him to throw his son out of his life.
I am upset because I woke up this am and he was gone, did not tell me he would be gone on his birthday - mind we do talk every day- and that he clearly is seeking his sons approval at the cost of his relationship with me. Consequently he would be very upset when I will take off in two weeks on MY BIRTHDAY, without telling him where I am going so when he wakes up he will find an empty bed next to him. It's my birthday after all and according to your philosophy f*ck it who cares about anybodys feelings right? Oh yeah, and I am taking his car too.

cyberwoman's picture

Submitted by cyberwoman on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 8:59pm

North shore of Kauai sounds good right now. Smile Thanks for being understanding and supportive. DH meeting SS turned sour when SS hit him up for money to pay his rent and get his car out of the towyard (second time this past 30 days). What can I say SS has a sterling personality.

Persephone's picture

Submitted by Persephone on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 4:35pm

Hope this post isn't too late. Yes, get out of dodge for the day and enjoy yourself!! Even if you have to pretend.

cyberwoman's picture

Submitted by cyberwoman on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 8:56pm

Thanks for everybodys feedback and support. DH came back, we talked and now I am just sad. He said he saw an opportunity to see his son who usually does not acknowledge his birthdays thought it was a chance to spend time him. Consequently meeting SS turned ugly as he hit DH up for money again. SS does not work so he needs money to pay his rent and utilities and to get his car out of the towyard that was impounded the second time this past 30 days. I am at my wits end with this loser and so sad for DH that he had to spend his birthday like this.

SammyJo58's picture

Submitted by SammyJo58 on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 11:40pm

Don't feel too sad for DH, it was HIS choice to spend his special day with his son. That it turned out the way it did was not your fault, and not from lack of consideration on your part. Sometimes our DHs need times like this with their children to open their eyes where they are concerned.
We can't protect our DHs from their children's inconsideration. When we try to, it only backfires. All we can do it offer a hug after the fact.