OT- 1st prenatl Doctor's visit.
OMG!! I'm back to freak out stage. We had the first pre-natal doctor's appointment today. I don't know if it makes it so much more real, but I'm terrified of having this kid. Completely and utterly terrified. I mean, not just some doubts about timing and crap, but afraid of whether I even want to be a parent. I think I always thought I wanted kids, but it was kind of a distant thought, like my plans to go to Italy someday were waaaaaaaaaay more concrete than my plans for a kid someday. I don't know if this is normal or if I'm just going crazy, but I am scared. What if I decide I don't want kids after I pop it out? What if I'm a bad mom? What if there's something wrong with it? I cannot deal with that. Oh fuck.
I tried to talk to DH about it, but he wasn't very supportive at all. He thinks "there's no point to worrying about the kid until it's here." WTF, how do you not worry about it? I don't even know what to do to calm myself down. I'm sitting at work and I just want to bawl. ugh ugh ugh
Sorry, for this post.
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Comments
Having a child is a big deal.
Having a child is a big deal. Ive never had a child but I want to say its normal to have some anxiety. You'll be fine. Try to relax or talk to a friend or family member thats had a baby and see what they say. Did you talk to the doctor about it?
No. I was more or less in a
No. I was more or less in a daze at the Dr's office. Freak out stage didn't officially begin until the ride down the elevator.
LOL. It will be fine.
LOL. It will be fine. ((Hugs))
I can totally relate. When I
I can totally relate. When I was pregnant with DS, as much as I thought I wanted to have a baby, the thoughts of OMG what have I done constantly ran thru my brain. All the changes in our lives that were going to happen. It was crazy! I even had that moment at the ultrasound when I couldn't see the baby - Yes I had the Rachel moment and my DH couldn't help but laugh at me as I totally freaked out.
Now, I know my purpose in life was to be DS' mommy. I never totally understood that bond until he came along.
But note - I'm having the same OMG moments this time around and think I'm going to be a horrible parent. I think it's totally normal. Have a good bawl and let it all out. It's a huge change in your life but it doesn't necessarily have to alter your life plans. Many folks travel with their small children and go to exotic places. Heck I don't even have a passport but my 2 nephews - 5 and 1.5 do with tons of stamps. They go everywhere and my cousin says it's the most wonderful experiences to see things thru their eyes.