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Not being “the BM”

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Fri, 11/18/2022 - 6:31pm

Another quick rant. It does get really tiring to get looked at as 2nd when it comes to skids. 

SD had homecoming tonight and we went to a newer group of friends house that she has been hanging out with for pics. There were 4 girls including SD and the girls house...

Now one of the girls moms goes...in annoying already knowing the answer voice... "so who's mom are you?!" I just said SDs stepmom... which I actually cringe when I say that considering SO and I are not married. ..SO was there too.

NOW! The mom that asked me is friendly with the girls house it was .. and the other girl that was there her mom is not in her life AT ALL. Sooo.. she knew who I was considering I was there with SO who she has met before... 

You can tell she was being snotty. I don't want to sound a particular way either but I am 10+ years younger then most of the moms so there is always that too. 

The mom that made the comment and the girls house took mother daughter photos and then asked me if I wanted one with SD I said no we are good... I didn't want SDs friend (who's mom isn't involved at all) to feel left out... The mom probably took it another way though. Who knows.. doesn't matter.

I have had many of these types of experiences the past 7 years and it STILL annoys me (when it happenes) that it is like this in todays world. 

Comments

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Fri, 11/18/2022 - 7:06pm

If anybody asked, I'd say I was SD's or SS's mom cuz it sermed embarrassing to them not to have a "real" mom there.  If we had lived near BM or the people had known her, I wouldnt have done it.

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Fri, 11/18/2022 - 8:37pm

I'm a bitch, I would have said "Oh are you grandma? You look amazing for your age!" For pictures I would have said "Sure I'll take a photo with all the girls, I bet everybody will think I'm the older sister lol." As for not being the BM part I would have quipped "Well if I had her  when I was six?  I bet you never get asked that." (wink, wink) 

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Sat, 11/19/2022 - 7:59am

Hahah! I should have!! The town we live in is your stereotypical suburban town and clicky. So loaded with that "type" if you get what I mean. 

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Sat, 11/19/2022 - 1:33am

By these SATHM's that think everyone's life is as simple as theirs.  Guess what, no.  Our lives are Uber complicated yet we still show up for crap like this.  I would have told her that .

Congrats on not punching this rude person in the face.  I kinda wanna do that for you LOL.

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Sat, 11/19/2022 - 8:05am

Well I know that this women was about to be divorced but they are going to therapy according to SD. She was the "OHHH HEYYYY BABBBBEEEE!!" Loud type. Daughter is like that too. I'm the opposite haha. 

She also was taking about SDs Halloween costume...They were the spice girls. She goes "SD was my fav ginger spice... she even had the flag!!" Yeah no shit lady I bought it. I just said yeahhh..  SD went to a party at her house and SO picked her up that night. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 11/20/2022 - 1:52pm

years.

My DW had SS when she was 16.  Most people assumed that she was the StepMom.  Particularly the less than intelligent school admins and a number of teachers.  She and I were referred to fairly regularly as Mr &/or Mrs (Spermidiot's last name) until SS asked for me to adopt him when he was 22yo.

I used to get a chuckle watching the nauseated look DW would get on her face when someone who assumed DW was SM then watch DW correct them promptly.  I get that schools admins deal with a fresh crop of new parents and kids every year.  DW was had little patience with this situation and would only tolerate it once with a moderate correction. If they did it twice, she would get a bit cutting with them.

"Umm, no, I am not ny sons; StepMother. I gave birth to him thank you very much."

She had zero tolerance when a parent of one of SS's friends pulled the same crap.  SS's HS GF's mother was one who had a strange superior complex of this issue. The strange part about her is that she is married to a much younger DH who is not her daughter's BioDad.  DW had to shut that lady down a few times when she tried to get snarkily superior with my DW.

I think the GF's mom's issue is that my DW is young and stunning while the GF's mom was of an age where she looked a little too old to be her daughter's mother but not quite old enough to be the GrandHag.

Even now, SS is 30 and my bride is 47, the age thing is funny when we are in a meeting new people situation.  I enjoy hanging back when we are out in public or meeting new people.  DW does not look old enough to be our son's mother and not quite young enough to be his GF.   The looks are always comical to me, followed by the second glances and whispered comments as people process.  My guess is that the whispers are of the Cougar/Boy Tpy nature.

My mom and I had this same situation when I was in my teens and 20s.. Mom was 19 when I was born.  We used to get the looks and whispers when we would walk arm in arm, or were at lunch together without dad and my little brother.

DW had a TeleDoc appointment last week to get an ani-viral  Rx when she was Dx'd with COVID.  The Docs exam notes commented on her being clear of mind, etc... and "the patient appears significantly younger than her chronological age".

DW is 47 and could easily pass for 15yrs younger than she is.

So..... I look like the guy who landed a hot kitten trophy wife.   28+ years ago.

Now, I will expound on my "blonde" beard. I have never grown one beyond about 3 weeks and kept a very mangy goatee.  This is No-Shave-November at work.  So, I have an albino chia pet with mange on my face.  DW actually likes it. I have had several women I work with comment on how much they like it.  One even commented that she likes my "blonde" beard. She is being way beyond sweet calling what is on my face blonde.  It is pure white.

So, when DW and I are out and about (yesterday was the first time in two weeks due to her COVID experience), I look like... that guy.

Pardon

 

 

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Mon, 11/21/2022 - 7:13pm

I can totally relate to all of that... For the record I'm not a passive person... Very much type A personality.. As much as I would LOVE to say stuff to some of these women who have been not so nice... it's clear they are either jealous are just live boring lives haha. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 11/21/2022 - 5:48am

In a world where at least 50% of marriages end in divorce, people need to get over it. It isn't some scandal to have divorced and found a new partner. It's just life!

I like the snarky come backs that are above! Next time go with that attitude!