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I have kept my mouth shut so far for SD's visit (minus the first night)

Someoneelse's picture

Submitted by Someoneelse on Fri, 07/22/2022 - 10:09am

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I had that slip up the first night SD was here, but after which I remained mt disengaged self. I HATE when SD tells me "Good Night Mom, love you." I don't know how to respond to that... I don't love her, I don't even like her... it makes my stomach CHURN! I tell her "you too, goodnight" with a grin as to not let her know she's affecting me, even though it is GREATLY. I have let her know in the past, she does NOT need to call me mom... her mother even told her NOT to at one point, that it would totally break her heart. I think she KNOWS I hate it, and so she does it.

ANYWAYS on to the next part. SD has been telling this OTHER version about how her and her BFFFL(best friend forever for life) broke up. So, NOW she's making it out to be that it is her exBFFFL's fault, that she's holding a grudge, and that she still hasn't apologized, and that SHE'S started pullng away BEFORE the whole party incident (where SD said "I'm invited and not you, HA" and that exBFFFL has been saying things that are hurtful to SD and THOSE are the reasons they aren't friends anymore...

I kept my mouth quiet, even though DD17 filled me in on how SD showed her all the texts and she told me exactly what happened and I KNEW SD was lying... but I minded my business, and kept my mouth shut... but DD17  (who SD gets along with because DD is pretty and popular) called her out on it. It was funny to see SD stumbling, squirming to find the right words, a way to turn it back around!!!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Fri, 07/22/2022 - 12:56pm

Tell your DD to keep the gossip to herself while encouraging her to also call out SD when appropriate. Teenage friend drama should be kept in the realm of teenagers. Your DD can handle it without you, and telling you will only fuel your frustration. If DD doesn't want to hear about it anymore either, she can tell to leave her out of it.

SD knows she is lying. She knows she pushes people's buttons. If everyone around her just grey rocks her and ignores the petty and lies, she'll either stop or you'll stop hearing about.

FWIW, I do get the frustration. My BM sounds very similar to your SD. Can't count the number of relationships, romantic, platonic, or employment, that BM has gone through over the last decade. These are never relationships that just fizzle out, either (which happens to everyone). No, there is always some drama or scandal that BM is the victim of. It's beyond annoying.