BF won sole custody but SM lost BF to BM?
:? Had court yesterday for temp. sole custody due to BM addiction to crystal meth. & having too many guns, and just her being a bad bad mother for years. My DH of 3 yrs. says prior to hearing that he's willing to spend the night on the couch at BM if his sons want to spend the night even though my wife (me) is going to kill me. I have yet to discuss this w/him but I am shaking with anger! She's granted supervised visits and has done squat for her kids and this is how I'm thanked for taking care of them these past 3 years, paying for braces, healthcare, etc. Now step sons are pissed that Mom's been treated unfairly and are supporting her 100% & don't believe she's an addict but just under stress (even though she was in the hospital & they found drugs on her). And at the end of the day, I'm the bad guy despite all I've done to help because I have continually thought she should not get child support (and the tons of extra money he gave her behind my back for bills/food when she asked him)& we should have gone for full custody 3 years ago. One huge grip I have is I wasn't allowed in the courtroom yesterday--is this right? I thought I should be as SM. A friend told me if BF insisted I could have been in there. I just feel like a stranger in my own house or that I am sleeping with the enemy. Any suggestions?
I would not be abbnle to
I would not be abbnle to accept this :jawdrop: :
My DH of 3 yrs. says prior to hearing that he's willing to spend the night on the couch at BM if his sons want to spend the night
Yeah, I am floored. Few
Yeah, I am floored. Few weeks ago when BM was hospitalized overnight he volunteered to go over & sleep on the couch w/one twin & spend the night b.c. her dogs (pitbull) was alone.
I had a fit then. Said, no way can this split our marital bed. One of her siblings ended up checking on the dog instead. I never thought he'd suggest anything like it again, but he did right in front of 4 witnesses & his lawyer. I was speechless then. I'm in a state of shock today. Just him suggesting it boils my blood.
Actually, it may have been
Actually, it may have been better that you weren't in the courtroom. Many times the body language of the steps really gets translated to the GAL or judge negatively- that would not have been good for your boyfriend.
The boys of course think their mom has been treated unfairly- they see their mom reacting to "just having her babies torn from her arms" (no matter how much it was justified, or how much she earned it, or how horrible of a mother she was). That is a horrible, devestating and gut wrenching feeling and no kid wants to see their parent sad.
This really isn't the time for acknowledgement regarding your contributions to the kids and family. The family as the kids know it was just ripped apart- again- no matter how right that may be, it hurts for them too. Your husband is also burdened with stress an anxiety right now- hoping he'll do everything right, not wanting to hurt the boys more etc.
It's a rough time for everyone.
I understand why you were not
I understand why you were not allowed in the courtroom. When my DH petitioned for temp full custody, anyone who could potentially be called as a witness for a future trial was asked to leave. This included me as well as BM's husband and parents. We never went to trial, but the courts must follow protocol in case decisions aren't made at the hearing. I'm so sorry that you are going thru this. It must be a difficult situation for all involved.
Freudian Slip I keep
Freudian Slip
I keep referring to BM as his wife and DH as my BF. We've been married 3 years, they've been divorced 10 years now. It bothers me that I slipped on the title of this --> SM lost BF to BM... I appreciate comment that family is broke up again but these twins are 14 years old and one boy only had one overnight w/her in the past 2 years (his choice). The slip in the title tells me alot though. For so long I'd hope BM would o.d. on the drugs but after reading a post this week that a dead mom is worshipped as perfect for an eternity I changed my mind b.c. I can see that happening for sure.
OMG! How heartbreaking! I
OMG! How heartbreaking! I agree with a lot of the other posters! I dont think I would be able to recover from this. I have been taken for granted before but something like this is just too much!
"willing to spend the
"willing to spend the night..."
HUH? :jawdrop: