I still remember it vividly. SD had been begging me all day to go over to her Aunt's house for a while. I finally relented and dropped her off. A few hours later, my husband walks through the door, red-faced. "You need to go get her right now!" he managed to say. I was worried something was seriously wrong, but then he explained - BM had shown up. Without his permission. Less than a week after they had met up and had a heart-to-heart about her getting her life together before spending time with either of the children. She had agreed that she would stay sober, maintain a decent job, find a place to live, and maintain this lifestyle for at least a year. Then she went behind DH's back and told the Aunt (her older sister) that DH had told her he was perfectly fine with her seeing the children and everything was great between them now. I shoved some shoes on my feet, grabbed my purse and headed down the road. I walked in to find SD sitting on the couch as BM was gently stroking her hair. BM looked up at me, smiled and said "How's it going?" I was too furious to even respond. She must not have realized I knew. I firmly told SD "We need to leave right now." She seemed confused, but obeyed. Her Aunt appeared, equally as confused. I simply said "We are leaving."

Later, the Aunt texted DH, told him that she didn't appreciate me being so "disrespectful" in her house and she wanted an apology. DH let her know exactly what had happened and why I was so curt. She understood and said she would talk to BM (but as her new biggest enabler, I didn't believe it was going to be made into an issue). BM sent DH a long text message, stating she was so sorry, but she just HAD to see SD and she was so beautiful and she loved her so much. How was he angry at her, she did what she needed to do? "You went behind my back," he replied. "You don't even have custody of these kids. Next time you pull that sh*t, I'll call the cops." And then BM came back with her age-old excuse "But I'm her mother!" I sat there all evening, angry, thinking about her sitting there, stroking SD's hair, acting as if everything was fine. DH and I explained (the best we could to a younger child) that she would not be allowed to go to her Aunt's house for a while (or at least without us or her older brother present), and it wasn't her fault. She just seemed so confused. She vaguely recognized this woman - she looked just like her - but where had she been? Why was she all of a sudden reappearing and showering her with affection after all those years of being absent?

That was the first time I ever saw you. That was the first time we met. I had planned on meeting you years before, but you were in jail and then rehab and then back in jail again. I had hoped we could have met under better conditions and I didn't walk through the door full of anger. I wanted to hit you, honestly. I wanted to scream at you. But I swallowed every word I wanted to say for the sake of SD. I didn't want to be seen as the "bad guy" in that situation. I was calm. But inside, I wanted to let you know exactly how I felt about you. You have not seen SD since that day. DH and I have made sure you never did anything like that again.