I don't think SS27 would show up without letting us know, as it's a gated community, and DH has to let in guests with his cell phone. I have to think DH will finally get back with SS27 eventually, but that's for DH to navigate so long as it doesn't affect me. It was just a thought that crossed my mind that DH might back out of going, but I think he's looking forward to it and will go. 

Oh, yes, I understand how impossible it is to see all sides of the family on holidays, especially when it's just one day, like Thanksgiving. My parents were divorced, and I used to hate the pressure to eat dinner multiple times in the same day, so I wouldn't want anyone else to feel uncomfortable. In fact,  when I used to be the one inviting them through SS27's DW, I'd always say, "No pressure. We understand you have lots of folks who would love to see you for the holiday." What bugs me is declining and then suggesting you'll come a different day. It's like someone inviting you to a dinner party they are throwing with other guests and saying you can't make it but you'll come the next night, when only ONE dinner party was anticipated. Lol. Of course, if the host offered you could come any other day, that's one thing, but suggesting it seems presumptive to me. (And also, maybe if it were my bios who do consider us family, I'd feel differently.) 

I went ahead and said to DH I assume he doesn't want to change his plans for our trip, and he said he doesn't. I think he's just anxious about telling SS27 we're not available, which basically amounts to "no." And yes,  SS25 has been a little more MIA (but not hostile) the past few years, so it will be good to see him and his DW, assuming they do come. Lol. He's sometimes a little wishy washy about plans, but we shall see! 

Hey there, JRI, at this point, I honestly don't take offense to them not choosing to spend the actual holiday with us. After 22 years trying as a SM, I have finally accepted that we don't and won't get top billing, regardless of the situation, and that spot will always be split between BM and SDIL's mom, in that order. I also get that people want to spend the holidays with their LOVED ONES, as I feel the same way. Lol. I do get a bit irritated by SS27 assuming we are available to get together on another day. I have no doubt your comment that it never occurred to SS27 that we wouldn't be available or that it would be inconvenient is SPOT ON, as SS27 primarily thinks about himself first, BM second, and his wife and children third. However, so long as it doesn't affect me too much, as it thankfully won't this Thanksgiving, it's not worth expending my energy on. I'm just watching to see what happens. Lol.