So, some good news.  I have had 2 interviews already with this company that I got put in touch with from a former colleague.  The first with HR, immediately the next day they wanted the 2nd round with 2 of the hiring managers and their assistant. I also had to create 3 slides in powerpoint (about me, achievements and action plan).  All this happened the night before SD was to move out of state w/her fiance.  So I worked on it that night and we still had about 1.5hrs to visit with them over at my MIL's.  

Following the 2nd interview, I got the notice for the 3rd which is Monday with the VP of Sales.  I'm excited and pretty sure I'll get an offer.  

My oldest son did go to his first day at the coffee shop yesterday and seemed to like it- we shall see if he sticks with it.

So, to my SO and I- with my MIL now being alone (my BIL that ahole that lives there has found a new girlfriend and has been staying with her last few months)- a lot of her care will fall on my DH.  At least help w/unloading groceries, or Dr appts, etc....not to mention I think she will be super depressed with my SD leaving as she did a LOT for her and kept her company.  Given the situation with him and I, and him being my sons primary target and it causing so much toxicity - I really feel that even if he's there some nights a week- it will cut down on the eggshell/toxic feeling in the home.  We are talking in terms of just physical space -but we are still together, finances are still combined, we still plan to visit each others place (my MIL only lives a 4-5 min drive from my place), do dates, spend time w/our dogs on the weekends doing things.  I'm curious if others here have done that, stay together but living apart, and in the end did it just end the marriage or improve your relationship.  His primary reason for going is to not have that constant friction with my adult son- I don't blame him-he's been the target for the last few years.  For me?  Well, I'm relieved because my husband will no longer have my son to use as an excuse for his drinking.  I get relief from being around him when he chooses to drink.  He did gut liquor out entirely- but still drinks those hard lemonade's -like a LOT of them on weekends and even on evenings.  I just am sick of being around it.  SO to me, in a way, he's choosing his drink over our marriage- but maybe creating some distance so he can work on himself (w/out the pressure of my adult son hating on him)- and I get a chance to have more peace w/out his constant nasty remarks about my son and my son about him and me in the middle- having more peace I feel will allow me to focus on my new job, and focus on getting my son more help and independent.  With the goal being we come back together again with my husband, may take a year or two.  

I don't want another divorce. I would like him and I to do counseling (marriage) and also solo counseling, also my oldest will be in counseling.  I am prepared for it to further distance us and it ends, but I'm not calling quits now- but having peace at home for ALL of us may just be what can save our relationship as well as less pressure/stress for my own son to recover and start his own life.