Hi. I'm 31 years old and I can't handle my step child's interference and drama anymore. He is selfish, disturbing, and manipulative. When I first met him I thought I could help him. It worked when he was smaller, but now that he's a teen, he lies constantly and betrays our trust. His mom is no help either. I can't even stand when I know he's coming over. Anytime my husband and I are doing well and planning goals, he rushes in with drama to make all the attention go to him. 
I regret the time I waisted trying to be the nurturing mother he didn't have. He ended up mistreating me just like he mistreats his own mother. He just wants me to be a friend and not a parent. At this point, I'm not even his friend. I could care less what happens in his life. I just want him out of mine.

He would verbally abuse my husband to no end. He would lie about things going on at his moms house just to get what he wanted. He's old enough now that he's aware that dad and I want a baby because we're inlove and married. He keeps saying we should just be happy with him, but he makes us so unhappy. He's only nice to us after we give him consequences. Then he's just back at it being disrespectful, manipulative, and rude. We've wasted so much money on therapy when, in the end, he will always be an entitled asshole. I wanted a baby in 2018. We were planning it. He was all happy about it until he told his mom. Then, the drama came. He told us lies about what goes on at his moms house so that we would take him in. Then he made our lives hell. He went back to his mom and acted like nothing happened... like he hadn't lied about her. He was all smiles. It was creepy. This all happened during the pandemic. I went insane. I avoided home. I overspent money to cope. I hated him. He made home feel like a prison cell of him screaming at us constantly for not being enough, for not just giving him everything he wants.

now it's 2021. My husband and I are trying to rebuild our finances. We're still paying for therapy and doctors and lawyers. We're saving up as much as possible. Now, I'm just angry enough to never get suckered in to the bullshit. Whether we have a baby or adopt, that's literally the only thing that matters in my brain. I came from an abusive childhood where I thought I was last priority. Now, I'm first priority. I've had enough of users. I'm a kind nurturing person and I was used by my own stepchild. He doesn't care and neither does his mom. They don't care how much attention they take away from marriage number two. They just hate the idea of peace. 
 

how do I stop myself from screaming into a pillow? I cry several times a month because I need to be a mama and I need to have that experience with my husband, pure and untainted by his first marriage experience. He yearns so desperately for a baby with me. I'm praying that we have a child when I'm 32. I'm crying right now as I write this. I had no idea that my stepchild would dig his claws in this much, and make life hell and dramatic, with a mom who doesn't even teach him that everything can't be about him. Can someone, for the love of God, teach him that other people matter too?