How to deal with finances while skid is visiting?
SD will be 13 in December. The only things she really seems to like is being on her phone and shopping, thus trying to keep her entertained during her visit (while I have two toddler boys) is not really financially feasible. DH is off work on the weekends and will be taking her out tomorrow and spending what I assume a lot of money. He and I see money very differently. He is a lot more generous with it and less strict than I am.
My question is--how do you all deal with finances regarding skids when they are visiting? I of course don't want DH spending a lot especially because I've already bought her clothes last week, got her hair done, etc. and she still has 2 (long) weeks left here. I want to be supportive because I know DH shows his love through gifts and he only sees SD once a year, but on the other hand, I feel like she's taking advantage of that. Thoughts?
If it's only for 2 weeks i
If it's only for 2 weeks i probably wouldn't sweat whatever he's spending on her. It is frustrating though knowing that he probably pays child support as well.
this. Trying not to sweat it
this. Trying not to sweat it too much. Ty ❤️
Next time give him an
Next time give him an envelope of cash and tell him that's it. When it's gone it's gone.
Maybe point out that his time
Maybe point out that his time would be well spent if he got her to try new things beyond just shopping so as to help her grow up into a likeable young woman. If she doesn't find some new interests soon, she's going to be boring as hell - not everyone wants to talk about spending money.
Yes, focusing on time spent
Yes, focusing on time spent together instead of matieral items. SD11 has no interest in DH unless he is purchasing something. I feel bad sometimes for him, but he has always spoiled her, so I'm not surprised.
So much truth. He shows love
So much truth. He shows love through giving gifts, but I will bring up this point for sure! Ty ❤️
When a SKid is in the blended
When a SKid is in the blended family home, the skid has full access and benefit to the resources of the equity life partners just as any other kid in that home has.
However, they do not get an elevated access to those benefits and resources. They do what the family does. They are not special, or at lease no more special than any other kid in the home. They are present. That is it. They are there to spend time with their dad and integrate into his life. That has to be the goal. That means a Skid participates with SParents, SSibs, and DH pays CS for her care and support while she is with her BM. All she gets when she is with daddy is time with daddy and the same care any other kids in your home/family get.
I would lock down the finances if your DH is not clear on this.
Good luck.
Love this response. SD is
Love this response. SD is definitely spoiled as far as materialistic things go. Thank you for the perspective.
If your DH only sees his
If your DH only sees his child once a year, why isn't he taking time off work to be with her?
I'm with some of the other posters, given it's only once a year just let it go. A lot of us have to put up with skids on a weekly basis so your situation looks like heaven to me!
Ty. Totally know my situation
Ty. Totally know my situation is much more ideal than many others with skids. ❤️
Don't compensate for his
Don't compensate for his wanton spending. Make him still pay for his portion of expenses.
I'm a stay at home mom and DH
I'm a stay at home mom and DH is sole financial provider and we share funds. ❤️
Ill echo
To me - I value time spent on shared activities. Your DH is acting like a disney-ATM Dad. Kids will only look at him in this way if hes the entertainment dad. He should really focus on DOING things with her rather than BUYING things. But I get that the once a year spending is his way of DOING for her.
Lock down the finances by giving him a Disney-Dad budget.