Breaking News: Grandma Officially Cancelled Bratty's Visit

SO just had his regular Friday call with his mom. She told him she had sent Bratty an email earlier in the week asking Bratty not to visit or 'visit later'. She didn't hear back from Bratty so SO's sister (who lives nearby and takes care of Grandma) followed up with an email.

Eventually Bratty called Grandma a couple of days ago and said she was cancelling her visit and got a refund on her flights.

I asked SO if the phone call went well and he said Grandma didn't really elaborate. He is trying to set up a phone call this weekend with Bratty to talk but as I noted in the prior post she's been giving him the cold shoulder lately so who knows. There is also a family Zoom on Sunday so we'll see if Bratty shows up there or blows it off if she's upset.

Well at least Grandma's stress is now relieved and she said she's sleeping better. I'll post more next week if SO does get more updates.

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Grandma

I wanted to explain something I posted the other day when you were talking about this visit. I said my 80ish mom wouldn't have been able to handle visits. What I meant was houseguests. She loved visitors, but wouldn't have bern able to handle houseguests. I bet your Grandma is the same.

Yes and No

SO had suggested that Bratty could stay with his sister nearby but Grandma was still stressed out.

I think its the younger grandkids that stress her out - she sees the news images of young people partying over spring break and that feeds her fear...

I don't blame gma at all for

I don't blame gma at all for cancelling.

Unrelated but amusing story. My Mom had 3 sisters that are all deceased and Mom will be 89 in June and is in remission from cancer, 1 year next month. Anyway a few years ago while Mom was in the middle of treatment, her niece messaged me on facebook and said she wanted to come see Mom. I said that I could find her a cheap place to stay. NOOOOO, she wanted to stay with Mom or me.

We have not seen or heard from her in 38 years and she wants to come stay with an 87 year old woman going through cancer treatments. No way in hell was she staying there and no way was she staying in my home since we go to work during the day. She just wanted to visit us she said but have some common sense about it and offer to stay in a cheap hotel.

Yeah

Bratty would be offended at staying in a motel and too cheap to pay for one.

She doesn't get that visiting older people requires some consideration of others.

Yay! Grandma is stress free

Yay! Grandma is stress free now!!

I think

Grandma made a good decision. Bratty is defnitely a stressful houseguest for anyone let alone an 87 year old...

What with Covid

Who even considers visiting their 80 something grandma.

Bet grandma did cart wheels and high fives to herself once she cancelled.

Bet Bratty is bummed out so if she does show up for zoom she will look gloomy and victimized. I mean who wouldnt jump for joy at her visiting.

Yep

I think its 50-50 odds she even shows up for that call. I bet she makes and excuse and blows it off because she's mad at grandma.

I'm more curious to know if she and SO actually have a phone call this weekend. She's been giving him the cold shoulder lately, as I mentioned in the prior post.

Its not just the visit

Its the how of the visit - who visits their 80+ year old grandma with such a bizarre flight that stops through Vegas so Bratty can have the joy of hanging around the Strip with a bunch of drunk, partying strangers right before seeing Grandma. It's stupid.

Poor Grandma!

Hey, Canine,

My sainted Nana, a chef by trade, always prepared a spectacular meal for Christmas and Thanksgiving, at the family home, where all eight of us hungry grandchildren and our kids would convene. When she was in her mid-eighties, Nana apologetically confessed that she was ‘no longer equal to the task’. I still recall my shame at having been too insensitive to realize that a woman of her age should not have been saddled with such an onerous task.

Although I’m seventy-six years old rather than in my eighties, hosting guests, an undertaking that I enjoyed in my younger years, has now become burdensome. The pandemic has opened my eyes to the great relief that I’ve felt over having a legitimate excuse to forestall days-long visits from relatives (love them ‘tho I do). My DH is even more appreciative of the respite.

Going forward, I’m determined to keep family visits to a minimum, even though, as an empath, refusing will be an agonizing affair. Perhaps your DH could explain to his DD that grandma is simply too old and infirm to play hostess. It’s unfair to foist the responsibility and stress of refusal on aged grandma. (IMHO, to quote the incomparable Rags.)

Hi grannyd

Yes completely understand and thanks for that great explanation.

Bratty however is a self-aborbed narcissist who has a long history of not acknowledging appropriate behavior, especially with seniors. For example, after meeting my friends exactly twice, she emailed my friend and tried to 'visit' my friends' mother (who Bratty never met) in Mexico to see an 'authentic Mexican village' with her friend. Now my friends' mother was near 90 with end stage dementia and did not speak English. We in fact spoke of this in front of Bratty but it didn't stop her from trying to 'visit'.

She tried to score an invite to my parents house and I flatly refused.

So I'm not holding out much hope that she'll learn from this. She will probably claim the whole family is against her but we'll see.