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ExH drama over at least!

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:34pm

My kids SM called to let me know that they had met with an attorney and basically that unless they had proof I was neglecting or abusing my kids that a change isn't going to happen. She told me that they told the lawyer I was a good mom and that the kids were loved and treated well. He said then no judge is going to move kids to another state based on a teenagers whims. 

ExH is bringing the CO we agreed on when he comes to pick up our kids next weekend. I am so glad this is over. 

Now, if court for SS will go this smoothly I will be one happy woman! 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:37pm

Excellent! I'm glad they found an ethical lawyer.  Did the one at work ever write them a letter?

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:52pm

He was about to send it and I told him to hold off until tomorrow to see if he will just sign. I am so glad I didn't have to go there. Now hopefully we can go back to the relationship we used to have. I really miss it!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:41pm

Good to hear. Now. Is ex buttmonkey still trying to weasel out of his CS obligation or is he ready to sack up and be a responsible adult?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:55pm

Fingers crossed, darlin'!

Maybe their attorney told them it was a dipshidiot move and they said nothing because they're embarrassed. And if they're not, they bloody well should be!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:55pm

Funny that they told the lawyer it was the teenager's "whim" and not that they were trying to bribe her to live with them so that he wouldn't have to pay CS.

Regardless, I'm glad that they have been schooled and are putting that nonsense to bed.

Guess she figures everything will go back as before, now, wth you communicating with her about the kids?

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 4:58pm

I actually don't mind day to day stuff. It isn't a big deal until something major happens and then, yeah, the actual parents need to talk.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 5:36pm

I'm guessing it was more like: "Does your ex-wife agree with the change in custody? No? My retainer is $7500 and you can expect to spend $20,000 minimum on a trial.  And it's highly unlikely that the judge will make the change based on a teenager wanting to be homeschooled. Your call, though."

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 04/23/2021 - 8:43am

Here is the bill your looking at...minimum of 20k..probably more and about a 0 chance the status quo will be changed.  Shall we proceed???

CloudCuckooLand's picture

Submitted by CloudCuckooLand on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 8:57pm

Glad to hear this drama is clearing up. What happened with the BM filing a protective order (or whatever it was), any updates there? 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 04/23/2021 - 5:55am

Our lawyer never found out why.

At least it was denied. He said that he thinks she is grasping at straws because she knows how much she has F'ed up and that she is going to be held in contempt. He is hoping the judge follows through with jail time like he said last time we were there- I don't quite have my hopes that high but even without lawyer fees, she owes us $7,400 in crap that we have paid for tied to her contempt. I am hoping for that at a minimum. Add 20K for lawyer fees- that would be AMAZING!

DPW's picture

Submitted by DPW on Thu, 04/22/2021 - 9:10pm

I would never trust either of them again. They tried to play you. Always remember that because I know you have a kind heart and want what was in the past but be careful please. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 04/23/2021 - 4:51am

Agreed. Be cautious and no more being generous with them. Everything by the agreement.  

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 04/23/2021 - 6:00am

Trust is completely gone. Talking to DH about it all- I am not mad that DD said she wanted to live with her dad. She loves her baby brother so much and the fact that her dad is home all day right now- it makes sense on why she would want to. However, those are temporary things- the baby will quickly turn into the toddler and then into the other 2 brothers at that house that she can't stand. Her dad (I don't think) is going to be home forever. 

The false promises that were made to her are REALLY what pisses me off. Once she expressed wanting to live there (which I am still 99% sure wasn't her idea to start) her DAD should have talked to me about it. Not make her promises that couldn't be kept no matter which way they spin it.

 I am going to be very cautious- but hope that we can go back to at least an on the surface friendly and cooperative parents together. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 04/23/2021 - 6:17am

Given her comments about how you are a good mom that loves her kids, I wonder how supportive SM is of him stopping work and staying home, or if he's been pressuring her to agree to it and coming up with solutions for the money issues, ie, decreasing CS, getting SD to live there. Granted she's a fool for going along with his plans, but given how he was pressuring you, she may give in to go along if he's a narcissistic jerk. 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 04/27/2021 - 11:39am

Well, that's good news.  I'm sure that their lawyer gave them a good enough picture of the likelihood of success.. and probably also gave them an idea of the cost to pursue... and they figured that it was likely going to be a waste of money.. and a LOT of money at that.

Hopefully, the idea of trying to get you to agree to lower CS is also something that will have been dropped by the wayside.  I guess it's possible the lawyer also may have given them some odds that he would get off the hook due to "retirement" were fairly low.. considering he was well below typical retirement age and there isn't some other factor like health issues that might be extenuating circumstances.

It's odd that SM still seems to be the one that is trying to deliver all the communications.  I think I might still send your ex a reminder that while you have no problem working out small day to day issues through his wife.. BIG issues like a change in custody or some serious child related issue is something you expect HIM to communicate with you directly about.  You understand his wife is part of his home team.. but when it comes to a big ticket issue... he has to be willing to come to the table directly with you... those aren't suitable for discussion with his wife and you.