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Am I a prude?

Dc3sc2's picture

Submitted by Dc3sc2 on Fri, 10/02/2020 - 8:02pm

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General Discussion

A couple of weeks ago me and dh went into the kitchen and sd12 was sat at the table with her dressing gown on down to her elbows a black padded bra on doing TikTok/snapchat videos her father didn't say anything so obviously he didn't see anything wrong. Well today she comes wearing a white belly top black hot pant and fishnet tights with black patent leather boots with 5 inch platforms and I have to say a 12 year old wearing something that screamed hooker to me was completely inappropriate. Again her mother let her leave the house like that. Is it me just being prudish? I don't have TikTok so don't know what the norm is? I know I wouldn't let my daughters be doing these things god my 12 year old wouldn't know what a padded bra was for. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/02/2020 - 8:16pm

Not something I would allow my 12yo daughter to wear... ever.  Not even a daughter who was 18 who was living in my home on my dime.

Once she launches, I would still let her know regularly that though she is my daughter, she is trash and will be treated as trash by most people until she stops acting as trash.

I would encourage her to wear that type of thing with her SO, once she had launched, had her own place, and was paying her own bills.

IMHO of course.

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Fri, 10/02/2020 - 8:40pm

Ew, you know she got that stuff from her mom and both of her parents are ok with this... Double ew. 

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Fri, 10/02/2020 - 9:31pm

I might have told her that I'm not up on the current celebrities. And then asked her which one is represented by her Halloween costume.

Dad and Mom might be ok with that outfit. But, I would not be going anywhere with her wearing that outfit.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Fri, 10/02/2020 - 10:18pm

I’d have a private conversation with dad and let him know your thoughts.  Do you have children of your own in your house?  If so, I’d tell dad that you need to agree to some house rules and clothing is one of those rules so that the other children aren’t influenced by her.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sat, 10/03/2020 - 12:15am

I remember once when SD23 dressed in a similar way, around 14 I think she was, which I thought totally trashy.  I did say so to her father later, but he didn't say anything to her and I am/was disengaged and if she wants to dress like a prostitute, then hey, go for it. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Sat, 10/03/2020 - 8:27am

I wore that kind of stuff...

...when I was 17, bought it myself, and only out with friends. I couldn't wear it to school, at family gatherings, etc. I had pictures of myself in it on MySpace (gives you an idea of the year), but certainly wouldn't have taken those photos in the dining room in front of my family.

12 is too young, and it's certainly brazen to flaunt it in the middle of your parent's house. Your DH is a fool for not setting boundaries with his DD. It's not about being a prude; it's about letting kids not have to deal with adult problems (like sexual harassment) before they have to. He's letting her invite it into his home, and that's just weird.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Sat, 10/03/2020 - 11:23am

Seriously, like half the fun of wearing that kind of thing as a teen (not 12) was that your parents didn't let you. You had the respect and decency to change after you left home and before you got back so your parents didn't see.

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Sat, 10/03/2020 - 2:16pm

You are NOT a prude.

I have daughters and dressing like that would not tolerated.

Wouldn't fly for Halloween either.  I love Halloween, fun fun fun--this, is a big NOPE. Turn around young lady and stick something else on . Smile

 

Rockydog's picture

Submitted by Rockydog on Sun, 10/04/2020 - 6:41pm

Either she has some issues about her sexuality (has she ever been abused) or she has no idea what she's doing. But, completely inappropriate.

nappisan's picture

Submitted by nappisan on Sun, 10/04/2020 - 11:09pm

NOPE! i wouldnt even let an 18yr walk out the house in that.  Your not a prude ,, not even for a fancy dress party ! no way!

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 10/05/2020 - 8:23am

Nope. My DD is 13 and there is no way in hell. 

I am glad that my steps are boys and I don't have to deal with that stuff, but my stance would be- Not in this house. As my mother once told me in high school "You look like a hooker, go change" - LMAO

 

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Mon, 10/05/2020 - 1:21pm

Oh god that is my SD13 but it's not to be sexy it's because she doesn't know any better and dresses like a complete weirdo.....she hasn't even gone into puberty.....

I always wonder my DH or BM or MIL don't say a word about her outfits......it's literally embarrassing for me to be seen with her.....then add on bright orange eye shadow smeared all over her eye lids and then bright red lip stick.....I can't!