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I am in shock of SD inappropriateness

Gracefulsilver's picture

Well, last night SO was sick so I went over to feed him chickensoups and saltines.  SD15 was getting ready to goto BM's for the weekend.  My son was getting ready to goto the school game and my daughter was going out of town for the weekend.  I show up before SD leaves and SD wants to talk in front of SO and BS15 about how she is handling the technique of using tampons...UGH.  I told SO to tell her to stop speaking to me and she goes and does this for attention.  BS is disgusted by her need to talk about the subject in front of him and SO is already sick and it made his stomach roll.  Then SD continues with details about tampon use (BM told SD not only that she would die of cancer from using tampons but also inccorrect use of a tampon causing lack of effectiveness).  I am so tired of how this girl is constantly searching for ways to be the center of attention including negative attention if she is not getting positive attention.  I wish SD would just move back in with BM....UGH.  I didn't think I could get more disgusted by SD but low and behold she goes even further into foul hygine behavior.

Rags's picture

I don't find the topic to be inappropriate. I do find her timing to be manipulative and inappropriate.  My assumption is at 15 she has been menstruating for a couple of years given modern humans penchant for early puberty.

However, if she needs help and guidance, she should receive it.  Just not in public forum at an inappropriate time.

Did anyone tell her to STFU and to engage the conversation in private.  Knowing her penchant for attention seeking drama, I would compile comprehensive factual data on tampon use primarily with the target of refuting BM's bullshit, baring BM's ignorant ass and shutting off that alley of attention seeking bullshit from SD.  When she shifts topics, shut her down, compile factual information on the new topic for alter discussion.  Eventually SD will learn to become informed or she will avoid getting her ass bared with fact.  Odds are she won't like her mommies bullshit being refuted with fact and will avoid initiating bullshit discussions to begin with..

Gracefulsilver's picture

I agree there is a time and place for the topic. But infront of 2 males as one is getting ready to eat spagetti and th other is struggling not to vomit yet again it was not appropriate.  SO and I agreed due to SD's accusations against me and my children she has been instructed not to speak to us at all.  SD has already went crying to her dad about me pointing out her lies and proving them a lie and stopping her when she starts her petty games by stating "We are not going there.".  Apparently SD identifies that as verbal abuse and yelling at her.  SO was present every single time it occurred and standing right next to me, and he does not think I raised my voice or was verbally abusive.  The problem is that SO is too scared of his own daughter to point out these facts and SD is crying the blues that i am so cruel.  I am so tired of her games.  I answered with 1 word and refused to ignored her existance as agreed upon by SO and myself.  Yes, anytime BM is proven wrong by fact SD cries that she is being bulled and her mother is right and so is every piece of factual evidence is wrong.  But SO refuses to address any of SD's behavior until after we talk and i point out how foul her hygine habits are or how she is manipulating people with lies.  And even when he does address the problems he does not do anything to prevent them from happening again, so we repeat this pattern over and over again sometime for the exact same thing.  I am so ready to walk and the wedding date is not even set yet.  I have been considering refusing to marry him and walking away.  Also SD gets mad and mean anytime SO tells her she is not going to push me out of his life because she is being a lying selfish little witch.  And SO wonders why she does not have any friends and has completely been alienated by 2 different school districts (including faculty at one) due to her lying.

tog redux's picture

Your SO should have told her to knock it off, it's not the time and place to discuss tampons.  I hear that she's very difficult, but the real problem here is your SO - he's too afraid to parent his own daughter.  Why?

Why would you stick around and marry into this situation?

Left out mama's picture

The problem is your SO not backing you up... if he's not willing to do that than he is not the man for you. You deserve a man that will have your back especially when it comes to other people treating you poorly or lying about you. 

Harry's picture

To get you upset. Your BF did not parent her by saying this is not the time for this.  So he is equally at fault. This is not the family for you. 

Gracefulsilver's picture

Last night more of the inappropriate subjects were brought up by SD15.  We were in the car with SD and DD18.  Everyone was having fun joking and listening to music, SD was not participating.  Sd then interrupts eerything with "daddy i need to tell you something".  SO asks what.  Sd starts talking about how her older half brother was molested as a child and blames SO for it, because he never saved SS24 from it.  I got loud and said "this is not the time or place for this conversation"  So took a second but then realized where he was and nodded.  SD began to pout and be snotty like it was the end of the world.  Then we arrive at the restaurant and SD refuses to eat.  Sd is too smart to not know what she is doing.  DD told her that the subject should be only discussed when SD and her father are alone.  SD is now mad at me for correcting her.  SD cannot stand not being the center of ALL attention.  This was just another ploy of hers to have us all pay attention to her.  There was no reason to not have that conversation in the 3 hours before they got into my car and were alone.  SD goes out of her way to het my and DD's attention in anyway possible, even involving the police at time.  I am so tired of SD, she is definately old enough to understand that that subject is very personal and not appropriate for announcing in front of other people,  especially my DD.  My DD was asked repeatedly when she was 15 to have sex by my alcholic ex-boyfriend (I got rid of him as soon as I found out).  Why can't SD just act like a 15 years old?

SteppedOut's picture

Honestly, why do you continue to spend time with your boyfriend's daughter? Seriously, stop spending time with her...she only causes endless frustration. 

Gracefulsilver's picture

Honestly, I spend as little time as possible with SD.  I avoid talkign to her in everyway possible.  I have stated and still attest to the fact that SD goes out of her way to try to find ways to force us to interact with her.  We had needed to go shopping for the girls and stopped for Italiam on the way (I would never take SD to a restaurant that was actually upscale).  The truth is that if you are with someone then it is inevitable that their kids will be around you.  ZIts gets so annoying.  I actually prefer to leave SD at home but this time she need to tag along.  I just wish SD would shut up.