The Delights of Father's Day with a SKID
SD was extra annoying this weekend. I don't know if it was b/c it was Father's day weekend or because DH seems to be regressing back to doormat/disney wanna be daddy. Either way it was annoying to watch! On Fri she was walking around the house on duo talking to her friend and doing stuff that she thought was so hilarious. Trust me it was not. She's 13 and acts more immature than my 5yo! She kept putting my hats and my 5yo's hats on DH and laughing hysterically (and obviously a very fake laugh) and saying "look what daddy's going to wear to my softball game tomorrow!"....even DH finally got annoyed by this and told her to stop. DH was so proud of her for doing well pitching at softball (they put her in the 2nd 1/2 of the game). I still don't get this pride in her softball when she is 13 playing with 9 year olds and she wasn't even the starting pitcher! Ugh!
DH was equally annoying b/c he regressed majorly for some reason. He was following SD around acting like a helpless puppy wanting her attention. He was overly concerned about what we were cooking and when - he is NEVER like this unless his precious is there. It is like he feels the need to give her an agenda of what we are doing at all times and what we will eat and when...then he couldn't understand why I was annoyed. It is like he "forgets" any discussion I've ever had with him on how his behavior with her is IMO barf worthy.
SD also bragged and bragged about all the things that her and BM are going to be doing this week and during the weekend. Going horseback riding, going to TN, had to show me the house she is staying in while in TN. If she wasn't so braggy about her plans it wouldn't be bad modesty isn't her thing. Honestly, knowing that BM is obviously not worried about COVID or taking SD anywhere and everywhere I don't really feel comfortable with her around the boys. My boys have been home this whole time.
On Sunday, SD decided she would make cinnamon rolls for Father's day. No big deal but she cooked them too long and when I told her they were done and looked kind of burnt she was like, "no they are perfectly golden". Whatever, thankfully my brother was picking me up to take me to my dads so I declined to eat any. Unfortunately, my sweet little man "saved" me a cinnamon roll so I went ahead and ate one when I returned from my dad's. It was of course exactly what I expected hard and gross! Then she wanted a picture for Father's day but when DH wanted to include the boys she got all annoyed and flustered. Guess she still hasn't realized that in our house she isn't the only child. I told DH to go take a selfie with her b/c I could tell she didn't want anyone but her in the pictures. I wish you could post pictures here privately and I would share, lol!
What seemed like the longest weekend ever finally ended when SD went back to BM and DH went back to normal behavior. I think the next weekend we have her I will go ahead and schedule my massage and go hang out with friends. I'm not watching that barf show again.
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Comments
Maybe you could use her cinammon rolls
at softball practice.
UGH!
I think they were harder than
I think they were harder than the softball!
Lol they must have been
Lol they must have been winning to let the 13 year old back up pitcher come in.
Right?!?! LOL! Such an
Right?!?! LOL! Such an accomplishment for SD!
cinamon rolls are only good
cinamon rolls are only good when fresh IMHO.. they always turn hard and gross even if they were perfect when they first came out of the oven.. especially if they are the ones that come in a can from the dairy section of the store.. they are only good fresh..
I think you would obviously be happier if you disengaged a bit more and stopped "caring" so much.
So she overcooked the rolls.. why even comment? to try to make her feel bad.. just ignore it.. let it go.
So her dad is trying to support her being on a sports team.. so she isn't the next Hank Aaron.. so what? Most parents see their kids in a positive light and try to support them.. even if they aren't the most talented.
She is 13.. and she is going to be silly and annoying at times.. the little girls who walk around doing their "tik tok" dances and mock cheer moves.. talk in annoying accents.. show off.. put on weird makeup and clothes.. etc.. etc.. why do you really care if she is acting foolish.. if she is being loud or going to hurt something or someone.. stop that.. but otherwise.. can't you just let her be?
And.. why on earth can't she have a picture with her dad for FD? it doesn't make the other kids less his.. but maybe she wants a picture with just him.. almost every child has pictures that don't include their siblings from time to time.. it isn't the end of the world.. and given the tone of everything she does annoys you.. it's no wonder she really doesn't feel included with the whole family anyway.
I can also see your husband trying to overcompensate for the fact he isn't with her all the time.. so maybe you would be happier if you did other things during the visitation.. so her presence didn't set you off as much?
This site is to vent. That
This site is to vent. That is what I was doing. If you don't like it then maybe not comment and act like I'm an evil step mom, lol! I'm not even going to defend myself on the rest of your long comment acting as if I'm the issue! I know plenty of other children her age that do not act as desperate for attention and immature as she does. I guess I have higher expectations for my child and don't feel like celebrating mediocricy is a great thing. I don't have a problem with her father supporting her. He goes to all her games/practices/etc and I do not. I do disengage as much as possible but I can still be annoyed with my husband's behavior when it is totally guilty/disney daddy.
Also, if you read it, I told DH to go take a selfie with her b/c he wasn't picking up on her being upset by just taking the group photo. I never told him not to take a picture with her. I encouraged it....but I'm just an evil step mom that shouldn't care what happens in my house, right, lol!?! I love the SKID eccentric people on here!
I'm just trying to point out
I'm just trying to point out that girls these age can be annoying in general.. you might get some peace in your mind if you were able to brush it off more vs worrying it over so that every small thing is an irritant.
The site is to vent.. but to also share how to get through things... sometimes that means we need to change our own reactions since we will usually be pretty poor at changing other people's behaviors or personalities.. so deal with it or die pretty much.
I didn't love my SKid's teen years.. they CAN be annoying AF. but.. I was able to get though it without losing my mind constantly... i also didn't take things personally that were not meant personally.. to as much of an extent as was possible.
Yes, teen girls and boys can
Yes, teen girls and boys can be annoying in general. My own son annoys me and I let him know when he is being obnoxious. I don't worry about every small thing and I come here to vent about. That gives me peace of mind. Venting here with others that have a similar situation and understand.
I felt that you just assumed that I am some evil SM that is awful to my SD and makes her feel like she isn't part of the family which couldn't be any more of a wrong assumption. I am always nice to her. I just don't think that she should be treated BETTER than the other children b/c that will cause resentment and already has in some cases (with the other children). The only reason she feels she doesn't fit in is b/c BM has made her feel like "my family" is her competition. Not me! If my son had burnt the cinnamon rolls I would have told him as well. I don't think telling a kid they burnt something is mean. If you don't teach your children to do things properly they won't learn. I know that I won't change SD but I am disappointed when I see my DH acting like a guilty/disney dad. It is a HUGE turnoff!
You assumed that everything she did set me off. It didn't. It was annoying to watch and be around and I did leave and do my own thing on Father's day.
Teenagers
Are very annoying. Even as sweet as SD14 Munchkin can be, there are days when everything she does annoys the heck out of me.
LOL. I thought I was alone in this!
Nope, you are not alone! My
Nope, you are not alone! My son just turned 13 also and he definitely annoys me but I can tell him that...apparently you aren't supposed to tell SKIDS when they are though
Harsh words
Melt the precious snowflake
We can't have that now can we
We can't have that now can we?!?! Harsh words are only allowed for non step kids and other kids in the house even if they to are COD!
Teenagers
Are very annoying. Even as sweet as SD14 Munchkin can be, there are days when everything she does annoys the heck out of me.
LOL. I thought I was alone in this!
The skids get sympathy from
The skids get sympathy from everyone else in our lives. All the time. This is the only place for most stepmoms to really get support and have people tell them they matter too. Being a stepmom is hard and lonely. If you cant just show support then just stop. Its not helping and shes not going to change her thoughts on SD just because you're trying to show moral superiority- if that worked we would all be dedicating our lives to the skids like society wants us to.
Sorry Simpleton, venting about the skids and having your feelings dismissed or changed into "oh but the poor skids" is the worst.
Very well said Jcksjj! I
Very well said Jcksjj! I love how we are expected to "just leave" when it is OUR home because we don't want to suck up to spoiled, entitled kids and are likely the only parental figures in their lives that want to actually teach them instead of coddling them over a divorce that happened before we even showed up! And most of the time I do leave or leave the room but that doesn't make it right.
Why is she playing with 9
Why is she playing with 9 year olds??
Go ahead and vent. Sometimes I hate the skids just for the ske of hating on them. Things that shouldn't bother me, do bother me becuase my situation sucks. If SD farts too loud, you go ahead and post it here!! We are here to listen.
Honestly Chmmy, I have no
Honestly Chmmy, I have no idea why BM put her on a team with kids 4 years younger than her, maybe b/c that is her maturity level?!?! Supposedly it is a "really competitive team"...IDK, BM is always doing stuff that makes no sense.
I'll def continue to vent b/c this is a VENTING site! I appreciate that some users understand that and don't villianze me over it. I'm just tired of my DH thinking that he needs to treat SD more special than the other kids b/c she doesn't live with us. Spoiling a child and not correcting their behavior just b/c you don't see them as often isn't doing the child any favors.
My skids are more special
My skids are more special than everyone else too. They deserve a little something extra every day, but they fukin live with us!! My ex used to act like our kids were a little more special than others and that used to bother me and sometimes I would say something. I mean we all think our kids are the best but to treat them like that isn't good for them because they find out later, they aint that great.
Exactly! I don't think it is
Exactly! I don't think it is great to make your child feel superior and great at everything when they are not! SD has this sense of entitlement and special treatment and expects to be treated better than the other 2 children in the home. I encourage DH to spend 1 on 1 time with her and that doesn't even change it. I of course love my children and think they are great but I don't treat them like they are better than other's and I also am not afraid to give them CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. If they don't learn how to take criticism at a young age they will be hell to work with when grown. IMO of course.
Why is she playing with 9
Why is she playing with 9 year olds??
Go ahead and vent. Sometimes I hate the skids just for the ske of hating on them. Things that shouldn't bother me, do bother me becuase my situation sucks. If SD farts too loud, you go ahead and post it here!! We are here to listen.
She sounds annoying. SD9 is
She sounds annoying. SD9 is very annoying, so I understand where you're coming from. Based on everything that you said, your SD has a lot in common with mine. Yuck. I also completely relate to how you feel about your DH acting like a puppy. LOL! My SO does that with SD and she doesn't even like it! I agree with so much that you said in your post and your responses to the comments. It's so nice when someone "gets" it!
Oh, I've been getting it for
Oh, I've been getting it for YEARS! LOL! I'm just as annoyed if not more so with my DH and his behavior/parenting of her like she is some precious snowflake. If it weren't so vastly different from how he treats our shared son and my older son it wouldn't be as annoying. SD in my case is extremely spoiled and I don't believe in spoiling children that much even if you have the resources. There isn't a humble bone in her body.
I know how you feel! My SO
I know how you feel! My SO doesn't handle SD the way that he should. It's very frustrating. My SO doesn't have the means to spoil SD, but she truly believes that she is the center of the universe. Like yours, she doesn't have a humble bone in her body.
My DH does not have the means
My DH does not have the means to spoil her either. If I truly made him split costs he wouldn't be able to buy her a thing yet he wants to buy her the most expensive gifts and it drives me crazy. It is like he still wants to compete with BM b/c that is all BM does is spoil her and take her places. Oh, SD definitely thinks the universe revolves around her and BM tries her hardest to control my home and make sure she gets super special snowflake treatment at my place too. The only reason SD still struggles to fit in is because of the dysfunctional treatment by DH and BM.
Feel for you
She would wind me right up! Ss here is exactly the same, annoying and selfish af. Luckily dh now sees it and finds it equally annoying. Fathers day had to be brag central, then ss decided he was going to his room to play fortnite all day. No, you're not. Shall we go for a walk in the country? Don't want to, bored. Dh and bd left him to it and played in the garden. Well he texts his bm on the sly, and she turns up to pick poor bored son up early. I'd be raging if I cared anymore.
My DH usually gets annoyed
My DH usually gets annoyed with her behavior and tells her to stop but it is long after everyone else is over it. He pussy foots around her and it drives me crazy. Like he is afraid to father her and let her know when she is being inappropriate. That is why she still behaves like a 5 year old. He was doing a lot better up until Father's day and all of the sudden he was back to being guilty daddy