These are not my pants!
Doing some cleaning tonight while DH and SS (age 22 next month) are out of town for work. Our SS works for the company my husband and I own. This is problematic, but a different vein of topic. It all runs together though. SS has failed to attend school, keep a job or try to get a job and DH holds on tight to him encouraging him to work for us so he can impart all his knowledge to him. We all know this is bull.
DH and I also travel for work and it was recently brought to our attention that SS has been sneaking in his ex-girlfriend to our house. We have ring camera and the girl told me that he would sneak her in through the garage to avoid camera. Having her in the house while we are away is a violation of our rules.
Tonight I found a pair of pants in my bedroom that were not mine. I had a pile going and found them under a suitcase. I messaged her and she says they are hers. They were on my dogs kennel and I noticed that the kennel was bent as if someone's butt were on it. I could be jumping to conclusions but I am livid. I want locks. I want cameras. I want him out of my life!
Will be speaking to DH and SS tomorrow via phone I suppose. Any suggestions? DH is so blind to the massive manipulation of SS. SS is so manipulative, masked and a liar. I need help. I dont know what to do to protect myself, my business, my dogs and my marriage.
Note about the dogs
If the pants were left while we were traveling the dogs would have either been with me or boarding. I do not leave them with SS ever except when we will be home within a couple of hours. Even this makes me uncomfortable.
Your rules. He complies or
Your rules. He complies or he launches. Pretty simple.
Put cameras all over the house and keep sending clips to daddy showing SS's sneeky crap. Better yet... rekey the locks and end the problem. If SS is working he can pay for his own place. For sure I would be documenting his work performance. since youj own the company, you can fire him if he isn't delivering.
Your home, your company. You have complete control. So use it. If daddy wants to employ his spawn he can launch his own independent spawn employing business rather than exploiting the company you own with him to employ his kid.
I have a list a mile long of
I have a list a mile long of things SS does not complete. It's more work to manage his incompetence than to do things myself sometimes. These are pretty basic things and he screws things up and breaks things in ways I never imagined possible. This baby bird needs to kicked put of the nest. DH not doing us any favors. You would not believe the things this kid has done. Master manipulator of his father and his girlfriend's families.
Why are you cleaning up SS's
Why are you cleaning up SS's messes at work. His daddy should be doing it.
Pants, panties, or whatever; the bottom line is respect V
DISRESPECT.
When you respect people, you don't bring in girls to their home and have sex with them, and certainly NOT IN THE MASTER BEDROOM.
Why does your DH think 25 is the magic launching age? No bird that's had his nest feathered with food, a job and who isn't complying iwth rules or expectations without consequences will ever leave that situation. He's got a sweet deal. He can't be fired, even if he breaks things or does nothing. He can sneak that ass in to stomp all over it anywhere he pleases throughout the house. Daddddeee won't do anything.
Once again. I will say it. You have a DH problem, as the two of you are not on the same page where this trash he sired is concerned. SS is symptomatic of the issue. Dadddee enables the behavior, and therefore dadddee IS THE ISSUE.
DH pulled some crazy shit this last couple of weeks (you can see my post under "General") and because of his choices, I have made the decision that if he chooses to be a part-time husband, then he will get a part-time wife. No more baking homemade bread, cookies, cobbler, and making wonderful meals. No more changing the sheets every 2-3 days, no more stripping the floors and waxing them, no more yard work, dishwashing etc. (the list goes on). This has only been my new mantra for 2 weeks. He is going crazy, but he also is hand washing the dishes, and just last night I had fresh sheets on my bed and I didn't put them there.
My point is, nothing changes until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired and faciliate change. Your DH isn't feeling any pain or losing anything for allowing his son to do whatever he damn well pleases.
THe manipulation is the worst. Some of these "parents" still see their "kids" as tiny babies. THEY ARE NOT. I have no idea how to get them to see these are adults who have a free will to do exactly as they please, or not.
My heart is with you, and I'm shaking the Holy Water your way! I hope nobody says, "THAT BURNSSSS" Maybe that's it, bring in someone to draw out the demons...an exorcism. LOL
Your DH is the real problem
Your DH is the real problem here. If my SS ever snuck in our house and had sex in our bedroom, DH would knock him into next week. But then again he wouldn't allow his 22-year-old to essentially freeload off of us and have no consequences for his actions, either.
I would have zero patience for your DH in this situation. Why is he not horrified by his son's actions?
And WTF, who has sex on a dog kennel? Ouch.
Security System and Cameras Work...
Do it, it works 100% of the time too. I made a lot of dishonest people- honest again.....
You will not regret it.