It's been approximately 3.5 weeks now that BM has changed her cell phone number & SS11's cell phone number [preventing DH from being able to contact his son]. We live about 700 miles away from BM & SS11, so it makes it even harder on DH when he's unable to talk to his son. Okay, BM is the epitome of 'Baby-Mam-Drama' & I'm strongly convinced that she's a functioning bipolar candidate. It's been 4-years since our move to our new hometown [and BM & her drama was one of the main reasons for the move, of my trying to gain peace in my life]. Okay here's the deal with my having to take the good with the ugly. The [good] is my DH; he is a loyal & faithful man, a loving husband, and a loving father. He provides for me and our son well and we live a rather good life (you know the beautiful home, car, & no debt). Okay, but then there's the [ugly] which is how my DH continues to allow BM's drama to disrupt the peace & harmony in our home & marriage. When it comes to BM and how she chooses to handle their son as a pawn, he doesn't like to talk to me about it (for some strange reason, he internalizes his pain when it comes to him not being able to talk to his son). Okay, keep in my mind that we recently visited our home town about 2.5 weeks ago & BM had a [need] which is why she allowed DH to spend a few days (for a couple of hours each time) with his son. Let it be known that her [need] was that she wanted my DH to add SS11 to his health insurance and she needed to give him some paperwork to the fact. She didn't want to pay for her son’s health insurance anymore (saying it was too much money for her). Mind you ladies my DH is paying child support faithfully & timely and inclusive in his payments were calculations for SS's health & dental insurance. Okay so for DH to even consider paying anything additional to BM is ridiculous. At any rate, I talked with DH for hours at a time trying to get him to understand why he should not add his son to his health insurance [one: it would be costly for us b/c each time the child is seen for an office visit we will be responsible for 30% of the bill; which would be mailed directly to us]. I can actually visualize BM taking SS11 to the doctor for any minor issue such as a sneeze. BM says that it's not a problem she'll reimburse DH upon each bill . . . yeah right, she is the biggest liar you'd ever want to meet. She still owes DH $3000 that she borrowed to purchase a car that she couldn't afford on her own due to her bad credit issues. The only reason why he received $5000 of the loan from her was because I urged him to file a law suit in court where he was awarded his monies & her wages were garnished. That brings me back to BM’s newest ploy in trying to get revenge upon my DH. This last ploy she's taken (by asking DH to add their child to his health insurance) is her way of trying to find out his place of employment b/c she needs an address to have him served in court. About 2 years ago, we received 3-letters from the courts of her filed motions to get DH back in court (for more money), however, the final letter from the court indicated that they were unable to serve DH & until petitioner (BM) could provide an address for respondent (DH) that her motion was denied. I'm never amazed by BM or any of her drama that she brings but what does amaze me is how my DH always tend to forget how vindictive & evil his son's mom is and that he always tries to believe that her heart is changing towards him as the father of her son. Okay, now that I've rambled off course, I must go back to my point- I just thought it'll make this more clearer if you had this inside detail.^_^
Okay, [ugly] DH continues to allow BM's drama to disrupt the peace & harmony in our home & marriage. DH is frustrated that he's not able to talk to his son & that it has been (technically 2.5 weeks) since he last spoke with his son. My SS is a very smart young man (in the making) and he seems to be flourishing well under his mother's care (no matter how bipolar or evil she is). Our last day in town, my SS didn't want to visit with my DH which I strongly think had a lot to do with his mom texting him the entire time he was with us asking him what are you doing & where are you now, & what are you doing now? I mean it was truly ridiculous & I actually felt sorry for my SS. He kept looking at his watch & then he'd ask me, "What time is it now?" I was saying to myself, 'this chic has some serious problems, too much time on her hands, & truly needs a life.'
Okay, so I noticed a decline in my DH's demeanor last Thursday evening and each day thereafter he seemed to fall more into a funk & was having a strained time trying to keep it at arms length. After Sunday morning worship, DH took me & our child out for breakfast & he was really impatient with our child (of his 2-year-old tantrums). As much as I didn't appreciate it, I didn't say anything about it b/c I don't believe in addressing such issues in the presence of our child (it's something that I always save for later, so long as there's no physical matters at hand). Well after we made it home that afternoon, I'm in the midst of my Spring-Cleaning for the year & it usually takes me a good week (if not a week and a half) to get it all done. I went to the garage to get a broom from the wall mount & the whole mount disconnected from the wall (drywall might I add). When I told him about it, he became unfolded yelling at me saying that I don't know how to remove the broom from the wall that I was yanking it off the wall (and of course he didn't see me take it from the wall; he's accusing now). So he continued on yelling and after awhile something triggered in me wondering who does he thinks he's yelling at in such a way. I told him, "First, of all I don't know who you think you're talking to b/c I'm not one of your children! Second of all, you don't talk to your damn children that way & I'll be damned if I allow you to talk to me like I'm some damn dog!" My saying that only made him get worse. I told him as a matter of fact he owed me an apology & that if he didn't apologize for his nonsense we would have problems. That was Sunday; then came Monday & he woke up acting worse than he did on Sunday afternoon. He walked around the house ignoring my presence & when he spoke to me it was b/c he was leaving the house & taking our son with him. When I asked him where was he going (being that he's taking our child; as a mother, I need to know where my child is going & for how long, no matter if he is going with his father). So, that question just agitated him even more; then the yelling started & he says I don't have to take him, I'll just leave him. At that point, I asked him what his problem was & he tells me that he's sick of my mouth. Immediately, the first thing comes to my mind is displacement. He's displacing his anger of BM's actions of disconnecting both cell phones without providing him the new numbers onto me. So I unleashed it all back onto him & I let him know that it's clearly not my mouth that you're sick of. . .more so, it's that psycho-b*@ch you laid up & had a child from now b/c she's changed both numbers without giving you the numbers you're [again] taking this crap out on me & now our baby. Well, to say the least, we're still not talking and he's moved into the guest room [I think he's blowing matters wayyyy out of control], but he can move where ever he deems necessary but the fact remains [no apology, I have nothing to say to him].

I thought I'd share my recent & unnecessary drama with you ladies about my learning to take the good along with the ugly. . .because I'm definitely dealing with the ugly right now. What I clearly don't understand & probably will never understand is how he can say he loves me so much & then allow this Loser & BM's actions to continue to interfere with the peace & harmony of our home. Something has got to give & did I mention that DH never sees anything he does wrong?? Of course, it's all my wrong. But all I see is him striking out at me in the way [perhaps] he wishes he could strike out at BM & he NEVER does . . . she walks all over him in every way that she can think of.

P.S. I’ve never spoken to my DH’s brother about any issue in our marriage, but he’s been married for over 15 years and I called him on Monday to vent & my brother-in-law will be in town this weekend. He told me that he never understood why his brother continues to allow BM’s actions to affect him in such a way when he knows what she’s capable of; that when he arrives he said that he was going to go out for some one-on-one time with his brother to talk to him about the way he’s allowing BM’s action to disrupt the peace in his home & that before he leaves our home he assured me that his brother will be apologizing for his actions. For some reason, the way he said that made me laugh (a much needed laughter, I might add). Thanks for reading my very long vent-filled letter. I welcome all feedback.