So my SD8 just returned from a summer with her BioHo.

A little background, BioHo is a compuslive liar who lacks ability to take accountability. She has been arreseted many times for drugs, dui, stealing... and she is always the victim.

My SO has always been  worried that SD could end up like her mothr because they have very similar personalities. He has primary custody and BM lives on the other side of the country, and this summer visit is the first visit in 2 years because last summer BM was in prison. He has always worked very hard to teach her right from wrong and to be honest. He challanges her when she lies and she has always eventually come clean.

My SO has contacted a child therepist, so SD will be in regular therepy because there was some things that came up that has him seriously concrened regarding the summer vist. She moved around alot (3 times in 10 weeks) so general lack of stability. She would move in with this friend or that..... all older men. Not something SD should have been exposed to. Also, SD came back and said that "mommy said my underwear should always match my outfit" who the FU%* tells her 8 year old that!? We made it very clear to her that nobody should be seing her underwear.

We had a bit of a situation last night that has us concrend. SO and I were outside, I had just pulled into the driveway from work and he has doing a little work outside. We walked into the house and saw SD come running out of our bedroom. We asked her what she was doing in our room, and she denied being in there. She said tha I scared her comming out fo the bathroom and thats why she ran. We told her that made no sense and we both saw you come out of our bedroom.

She continued to deny, and said that she only was in the doorway becasue she "accidently" turned the wrong way comming out of the bathroom. (we have a 2 bdrm 1 bath house). We told her this was not believiable at all, and she still contineud to lie and say she was not in our room No matter how much we said we saw her do it, she denied.

She started crying and saying "im telling the truth, Im not lying, Im being honest" SO kep  his cool and said that she was not in trouble, but please tell the truth. He has been trying to be softer with her because of the stuff she went through this summer, and has tried to make her feel safe.

He gave her chance after chance to come clean, and she dug her heals in and stuck with lie. She knew we knew she was lying but kept to her lie. When he finaly told her, "okay, ill let it go but I dont think your being totally honest" the tears stopped, she skipped away like nothing had happend. He said the look in her eyes was like "I won that one" It was like she felt like she acoomplished something by getting away with her lie consequence free.

SO told her later that he trusted her less now, and she was not fazed at all. He told me that he was trying really hard to not be the bad guy and make her feel like she could always be 100% honest with him and tell him anything.

Hes upset because now he feels like he needs to step up the discipline because its seems like the only thing that will effect her.
 

Help! what do we do? She is so young, so bright and has so much potential. How do we stop her from going down the same road her mother went down? she has the ability to be so much better than what she showed last night