I knew something big was coming with SD17 (SD16...she had a birthday) and so did many of you STalkers following my blog posts. If you called it....consider this story an affirmation of your perceptive awesomeness and ability to stop BS in it's tracks.  If you didn't see it coming and are still giving your self-destructive teens the benefit of the doubt...well, let this be a cautionary tale!  If you don't have time or energy to read this long post in its entirety, jump to the bottom for the MORAL OF THE STORY. 

Here we go...

MR. ED finally took those darn car keys away from out-of-control SD17!  I was really surprised and proud of him.  He seems to have hit his breaking point with her and I can see he's really trying to step up as I disengage.  There is the tidbit of hope I can offer any of you thinking about disengaging from SKIDS.  Slowly, but surely...it CAN get better!  Unfortunately, he got a call yesterday from the insurance company regarding "an accident with injury involving your daughter".  Yeah...he laid down the law a day late and a dollar short.

In an otherwise awesome week of family members enjoying life, SD17 has been a side drama of odd behavior leading up to last night.  She stole QUARTERS from SS10 when she has her own money.  SS10's towel was found literally stuck to the floor in her room covering up a Red Bull spill while she had plenty of her own towels.  She's left piles of dirty clothes, filthy underwear, Juul pods, and trash lying in the bathroom shared with her brothers.  I actually did scoot those piles out into her room because I did not want SS10 to see all that.  Otherwise, I chose to say nothing to her about it this time.  Disengaging where I can while still keeping the area habitable for Llittle Man.  She was only allowed to take the car to work and school but would leave early and come home late to skirt around that rule.  Obvious to me what she was doing, but whatever.

The night MR. ED confiscated the car keys, she lied about having to work.  While out school shopping, MR. ED decided to take SS10 by her work for dinner.  Guess what?  No SD17 at work!  She lies via text saying she ran to her sister's on her break for "something important".  He tells her she's breaking the rules and he runs back by there an hour later.  Still no SD17 at work.  She texts him at 10 pm saying she's "finishing up at work" and will be home soon.  *Cough cough...BS!*  When she gets home, I hear him (I'm consciously staying away in the other room) say, "Give me the keys!"  I couldn't really hear her responses, but he later told me she seemed "blitzed".  

So yesterday, he got the call from the insurance company about an accident.  The night she lied about where she was she rear-ended some lady and then let DAYS pass, including her birthday, saying NOTHING!  Apparently, the lady took a picture of SD17's insurance card, did not offer hers, SD17 took no record of her name/insurance/plate #, called no police or parent, nada.  She did however make a call around that time to a number that is in question (keep reading for more on that). Last night, I stayed on the couch around the corner from where MR. ED was questioning her, writing down what little info she was giving about the accident.  That was as much as I could disengage from this, but I'm proud of myself for staying seated and out of sight at least. lol  She gave some ODD answers about what happened and couldn't (or wouldn't) even tell him where the accident happened, "There was like a McDonald's and a bunch of stuff.  I don't know.  You know I don't know streets...I left the mall...I was going to the mall...maybe I was south of the mall...I was on my way home...{blah blah BS}" OMG...its maddening hearing her BS and lies!

We are waiting to hear more about what the "injury" claim even is and what exactly MR. ED is dealing with here, but he is making major changes in the mean time.  He surprisingly said he is not giving her the keys back and is considering going to the BMV to revoke his permission/responsibility, therefore, suspending her license, removing her from insurance, and selling the car.  He said he is done listening to her lies and she will have to wait to drive until she can be legally/financially responsible for herself at 18.  FINALLY!!!  OMG, yay for THAT!

My gut feeling is that there is an even more troubling backstory to the SD17 chaos, but I'll save that for a post if my hunches turn out to be correct. This girl is a mess and I saw it coming a thousand miles away.  I'm just thankful MR. ED is seeing it.  Better late than not at all.  There is still hope.

MORAL OF THE STORY:  Parent your freaking biokids and don't let a permissive SO/feral SKID situation go on unchecked!  There is no reason with today's technology that parents can't know EXACTLY where their kids are at all times.  If your kids are turning off their location, there is a reason. So many times this week as I disengaged and MR. ED increasingly started asking, "I wonder where SD17 really is...etc." I responded with, "You know...there's an app for that!"  If they won't answer your calls or follow your rules about keeping location on, take their phone or put it on serious lockdown.  If you can't trust them to tell you the truth or be drug/alcohol free then don't give them the darn keys to a vehicle in your name.  This other driver is said to have gotten out of the car, talked, and walked just fine claiming no injury at the time of the accident.  As bad as this situation may turn out to be, it could've been so much worse.  MR. ED is openly expressing guilty feelings and shame about letting it get this out of hand so I'm trying to show him compassion in return so we can move forward.  I can only imagine how a parent would feel if they stood by permissively while their out-of-control child killed someone or themselves while on a joy ride.  So, hug your kids tight, but gather up your cojones and darn it...parent your kids before its too late.  <3