If I hadn’t already been disengaged, this would have drove me to it!
Oldest skid has had her temporary driving license and was scheduled to take her driving test this morning.
Yesterday, my SO took all 3 skids to a fun summer location about 2.5 hour drive away. I stayed home to give them some bonding time (haha). Oldest skid brought along her temp permit, but in the end turned down the opportunity to do any practice driving, telling my SO she didn’t feel like it.
On the way back, SO dropped them off at crazy pants BM (just over an hour away). Total drive time: 5 hours give or take.
SO was beat after getting up early, driving a over 5 hours and spending the day doing fun summer activity in almost 90 degree heat.
Sounds so idyllic, until the texts start. Apparently older Skid left her temp permit in his car. It’s now 8 pm or so, and skid is demanding SO drive another 2+ hours round trip to bring her permit to her. SO said he’d be happy to mail it and she could postpone her test or crazy pants BM was welcome to drive to our house and Older skid could run in and grab it.
None of those options was acceptable according to Older Skid, who proceeded to send nasty texts cursing at her father (who just spend time driving and $ on a happy summer outing). Frankly, it was another sign of her immaturity that she couldn’t remember to take her temp permit - the oh so important document - with her. That and poor grades/trouble at school led my SO to think she needed more time before getting her permit and having even more freedom.
By this point, SO is getting nasty texts from not only older skid, but now also texts and calls from crazy pants and both younger skids as well. He reiterated the choices they had and that he was not driving any more that day. He did sent a picture of the permit in case that helped.
As a disengaged person, I was staying out of it all, just doing my thing. Until they start calling ME. In addition to the skids, crazy pants, who has stalked and threatened me, and who I thought was completely blocked calls me on a new number. Thankfully, I ignored the calls because I’m disengaged from the nonsense. But she left a freaking VM about how I had to step up, yada yada at which point I deleted said VM, blocked that number too and put the entire crazy crew firmly on ignore.
Not my circus, not my monkey who can’t keep track of her important paperwork and leaves it in her dads car.
After my SO turned off his phone, we’ve heard nothing today. But I am so glad I learned to just disengage before I was driven crazy.
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Comments
Good for your SO that he didn
Good for your SO that he didn't jump in the car and drive the permit back to her. At least he's not an enabler of this kind of behavior.
Yes I think it's a massive
Yes I think it's a massive thing that your so didn't jump and take it to her, rare to see the "part time" parent actually being a proper parent and putting their foot down. Congratulations to you on that one
Report them to the police
I would not be threatened by BM. It’s against the law to threaten someone. You are disengage, you are not a punching bag.
He has gotten so much better!
I am really proud of him. It’s taken years, but he has learned to just shut it down (for the most part).
I did have a lawyer involved, but during the hey day of her nonsense - basically nothing threatening was in writing, and unfortunately as we had no familial connection, I was told it would be impossible to get an RO.
But there is something satisfying in blocking contact. It drives her nuts that I refuse her games.
I am delighted that your SO
I am delighted that your SO did what he did - a big pat on the back for him. We had lots of incidents like this before DH "saw the light" maybe not involving requests for driving 2 hours, but certainly things were often forgotten at NPD BM's, 3 miles up the road and DH was always fetching and ferrying things around like phone chargers - I always told him not to and to let THEM face the consequences and make the journey by bus, train or bike.
I remember once when DH unplugged the landline because SD24 kept phoning us late into the night to berate him about something. Fortunately NPD BM has never tried phoning me - if she had done, I certainly would have blocked her. As it was I got caller display on our landline and never answered if it was her.