Did she delete and leave?

I am guessing that htd (I think that’s her name) deleted and left the site? Just curious and that I was reading her blog when it disappeared. Anyone know if that’s the case?

FrenchPeas's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

I think she is gone. I tried

I think she is gone. I tried to go back in blogs to find a previous one so I had her ID right and could message her - wasn't able to find any of them.

It's sad she didn't feel supported

Interesting. She had a ton of support. What she didn’t have was a ton of folks telling her what she wanted to hear. Since I am former stepmother to three horrendous steps who haven’t fared well in life due to their crazy ass parents, i realized right quick that she is dealing with a personality disordered man at the very least. The dude was psycho and abusive. Forcing his kids in their rooms for seven hours?!?

Just when I was going to tell her it’s time to knuckle down and save herself, she disappears. The fact is that he will screw her head up so much worse than he already has but she seemed to have a codependent streak a mile wide. People like him cannot he helped. They don’t want help. They are destructive forces.

Sad she didnt get it. Nothing worse than giving good solid advice and being clapped back for it. She will learn. And probably end up in two years of therapy like I underwent to break through th damage he is doing.

Sometimes people just aren't

Sometimes people just aren't ready. Her head hasn't caught up with her heart. And that's okay.

I think when your heart isn't ready, advice can feel like an attack, especially if it is direct. Even if you're used to direct. Suddenly it's crippling. It feels judgmental and uncaring.

I just wish she would have stuck around. Delete the blog, delete responses, heck even just sign out and walk away for hours, weeks, months, whatever.

Completely removing herself from the site removed everything she had written and every response she'd been given. Not just the uncomfortable blog. That's unfortunate. It allows her to forget, to re-write the history of her feelings in those moments, to re-write history to suit her current narrative. It could mean staying in the cycle longer.

I wish her the best of luck and hope she comes back when she's ready. Not for an I told you so but because if she returns it will mean she's taken another step towards healing.

Been there and done that.

I was here years ago as a stepmom. I’ve been liberated. No more step mess for me. In fact, my former spouse was voted to be the WORST on the site at that time. What struck me with this gal is her spouse sounded equally as God awful.

I hope she doesnt waste time time trying to salvage something from this mess. She’s young and successful. She deserves better.

Hey girl hey...winner of the

Hey girl hey...winner of the second worst spouse on st here.:).

Oh I remember!

Remember we were suffering at the same time! Now we are both doing so much better!!! Lol good to see you!

Was she the one getting a

Was she the one getting a divorce, then today was espousing her own power by choosing to stay and blah blah blah? I’m sure she will be back in a few days or weeks and she will repeat this cycle.

I think sometimes the comments get a bit too real for people to handle on here and when they touch an actual nerve it causes them to rabbit. It’s like having your own personal thoughts echoed back at you by various anonymous people and it can get scary.

A bit too close ...

Comments were perhaps a bit too close which made her uncomfortable.

There should be a "one more try, he got it, he promised to change & wow, I'm back here song."

Chosing to try again is fair. We've all been there. HTD's defensive response & deletion of account spells a fearful story. She may be back in 6 months or so. Likely feeling shamed & embarrassed for believing her guy would make meaningful changes. First time for anything.

Shame & embarrassment seem to be themes to steplife sometimes.

Oohh, and great make-up sex can obliterate a lot.

Good luck to HTD. Doors open

I'm not surprised, she

I'm not surprised, she clearly wanted to give him another chance, and frankly, she should - not because I think he deserves it, but because she needed to do that to see the pattern and decide if the marriage was viable.

She seemed to

She seemed to be pretty hung up on having a marriage fail after only 6 months. Although the long term practicality is that it is better to get out quickly before there are children and assets and even more emotion invested, the stigma of being a "quitter" can be used as ammunition and apparently her H seized upon that very effectively. He seemed to have turned his demand for a divorce into her abandoning the marriage. Classic gaslighting at a master level. She is going to have to find out for herself what her priorities are and live her own life like we all do. I wish her well.

That is sad, I don't think

That is sad, I don't think she realized the amount of support she was getting. I have been in her shoes, it is hard to make that choice. To go through with ending a marriage is serious stuff. Last blog she had I think most of us were advocating for her to do a trial separation- which is kind of the best of both worlds. Not totally giving up yet, but getting the space to decide what is right for her.

I was sad she left. I

I was sad she left. I messaged with her a bit. She was pretty upset that people were saying to "just run." I told her to ignore them and take everything with a grain of salt... But I noticed that everything of hers vanished

That's too bad. I hope

That's too bad. I hope everything is okay with her and her DH didn't find blogs.

I wish her all the best, it

I wish her all the best, it can be hard to leave a relationship, especially when your heart isn’t ready & everything seems to be really abrupt. We’ve all been there. It took my DH years to leave BM, and I’ve been guilty of staying in relationships far too long as well. I hope things either work out with her H or she finds the courage to leave him, when she’s ready.