Question for people who have children in therapy?
SD11 has been in therapy both Psychiatrist and social worker for the last 5 years. This is BM’s doing. The reason? Two reasons 1. SD12 is this out of control brat and BM can’t handle her so she wants/needs other people (therapists) to Try and coax SD 11 into doing what BM wants. Basically she wants others to do her dirty work. Second reason. BM is a TOTAL control freak and wants things(parenting) done her way. Well DH just ignores BM when she try’s and force DH to do something he does not. This is where the therapists come in. BM uses therapists to try and twist DH into doing what she wants. BM has for YEARS after the divorce Tried to get DH into “family therapy” and therapy just for the two of them. Reason again to try and get the therapist to side with her against DM to force him into parenting the way she wants.
This being said I have a question regarding SD Therapy sessions. For talking to others when a child goes to therapy the child talks to the therapist ALONE and the therapist ONLY talks to the parents if there is some big problem but may not talk to the parents alone. This is not how it works with SD Therapy sessions. With both the social worker and the Psychiatrist the parents go in first without the SD, then the SD goes in alone , then all three(DH,BM,SD) go in and talk. This happens EVERYTIME regardless if there is any problems or not. Is normal for a child therapy appointment? I’m just trying to get a feel if this is normal OR BM is somehow up to her old tricks. BM has been know to call Providers without DH knowing and put an idea in their head. This one could be her sneaky way of getting “family therapy” in without DH Consult. Please I would like to hear from people who either have bio kids in therapy or steps around the same age as my SD.
Sd13
My sd13 is in therapy, but only goes to sessions when something has happened at our home to complain about. This is rare. So she has only been three times. Maybe four. Once at the beginning of the divorce, once when she falsely accused DH of “strangling” her, and once when i yelled at her for stealing from me.
She goes to therapy on her own, i think. Otherwise she texts the therapist. And i think this is total bullcrap because her crazy mom can approve and disapprove of texts before they are sent. She can also punish SD13 if those texts arent what she wants her to say. I honestly can’t believe the therapist is buying into this.
Anyway, when we have went to therapy it was DH first on his own. Then a session a couple weeks later where i went by myself. Then a couple weeks later DH and I went together. That was to me the most useful session, the one where we were together.
I would never ever be caught in a room with BM. I’d lose my cool and make every lie seem possible about how i am crazy she has told about me. I despise that woman but she is a master manipulator and would surely best me in therapy because i am too honest and too emotional.
I hope this helps.
Thanks
Our BM has it set up that SD goes to the Social worker for “talk therapy” every three weeks and the Psychiatrist every 6 weeks. I AM Forbidden to go to any of these per BM. BM knows she can’t bully me like DH and I’m not intimidated by either therapist like DH. BM knows I would kill Her manipulating agenda.
When my DS12 was in therapy
When my DS12 was in therapy last year, my DS would see the therapist alone for half the appointment. Then my exH and I would join them at the end and discuss any issues. The therapist would mediate and help DS communicate with us about the problems he was having.
It doesn't seem like this is setup is too odd. I think alot of therapy with kids works the same way.
I'm in the field, and yes,
I'm in the field, and yes, this is pretty typical. Beware of therapists who ONLY see the kid and don't include the parents, real change cannot be made in a kid's life unless the family is involved.
The real red flag to me is that she's been in therapy for FIVE YEARS, from 6-11? If I were supervising this therapist I would suggest she do something different, as no child should have continual therapy for 5 years, unless she has a very, very serious diagnosis, like a significant mood disorder.
And you should not be involved unless the therapist wants you to be (though I would meet with you at least once, and I would meet alone with both BM and DH separately to get a feel for who is telling me the truth). Unless BM has sole custody, she can't stop a therapist from doing that, though she will try. More likely, if a therapist tried to do that, she'd fire them and find one who goes along with her agenda.
Unfortunately, most therapists are not really certain how to handle this sort of BM, but at least this one meets with DH as well - all of SS's therapists cut DH out entirely.
DH has joint Legal custody and both Therapists
were fine with DH making an appointment and bringing me along. BM got the Confirmation call to confirm the appt by mistake and flipped a nut that I was going. After that the office called DH back and said the therapist would ONLY allow me to attend if I had BM Permission. That will NEVER happen