Story behind SS and the baseball bat
* I decided to start a new post as my last one was getting long*
So SS13 always had a mean Streak and was diagnosed early 5 or 6 yrs old with a mood disorder. Would bite/push other kids and no friends. Once SS got into middle school he seemed to get along better with peers. It could also be because he is a wimpy little thing and knew the other kids could kick his ass.
I Disengaged early With SS so except for Verbal abuse He Pretty much left me alone. DH on the other hand SS would smack if DH said something that pissed SS of or tried to Punish him for something.
Last summer SS was getting mouthy with me and I would not back down so it Escalated Till I had to dragged DH into it for support. DH supported me and told SS to stop mouthing off. This pissed SS off and he went storming crying into the house. DH went into the house and found SS Bawling pissed off on the couch. DH said if he’s so unhappy DH can bring him back to BM and walked out.
Two minutes later SS comes flying out of the house Completely hysterical swinging a baseball bat and Proceeded to beat DH with it Swearing crying in a complete rage. DH never tried to grab the bat think he was in shock. After SS stop hitting DH he continued to yell crying at DH about how much he hated DH. I’m sure the Neighbors got quite a show. Finally SS went for a walk and came back two hours later and Apologized to DH.
There was NO punishment. No consequences. It was basically hug and make up and the two went fishing down by our like like NOTHING happened!
After a week of it being a white elephant in the room with DH and I, I finally said what the hell was that! I Proceeded to ask DH how he can laugh and joke with the little Brat after the beat down he got.
DH responded it bothered him deeply but wanted SS to go back to BM in a good mood so played it up with SS. I then said are you just going to let that go? DH said he knows it was Awful but does not know what to do. As if he says anything to SS’s Psychiatrist he will think something is really wrong with SS and drug him up even more.
This is not the first time SS has hit DH BUT the first time he used a Object as a weapon to hit DH.
The reason I did not call the police as based on past Experiences it would not workout as I would like. Meaning SS REMOVED Hopefully permanently from my home or at least till he was punished and learned his lesson.
No what would happen is SOMEHOW BM/family court/Stepson’s psychiatrist would turn this around as SS is the poor Victim and we SOMEHOW were to blame. There would be NO Punishment /consequences for SS but added Therapy sessions with daddy and SS were DH were be torn down even more and pointed that this was ALL our fault. No thank you There is already to much “family therapy” time between DH,BM and step brat for my likely they don’t need more
Get ready for your beat down;
Get ready for your beat down; hope it's not with something more dangerous than a bat. It will happen. This kid has carte blanche to attack anyone now. He knows it. You know it. We all know it. Ticking time bomb.
I'd be out yesterday.
It's your home and your
It's your home and your husband. If that is ok with you, then that's your choice. I am surprised your neighbors didn't call the cops.
I would not be living in that house. Have you considered moving south right now on your own and your husband can join you when he has had enough beatings from his son?
Well your DH just showed his
Well your DH just showed his son that he will allow physical violence in his home and he won't do anything. I'm hoping next time his SS snaps it's not on you. Personally I would leave and stay gone until the little psychopath is aged out.
If I had to live with this, I
If I had to live with this, I'd be the one chasing DH with a baseball bat. How can you love and respect a man who allows his son to behave this way because he's afraid? At the very least, stop parenting this child when he's there and let DH deal with him 100% of the time. Hide in your room, leave the house, get another apartment, stay with a friend/family member - whatever. But stop sacrificing yourself so that DH can stick his head in the sand and pretend everything is fine.
I'd be long gone from this situation.
"As if he says anything to SS
"As if he says anything to SS’s Psychiatrist he will think something is really wrong"
Yeah, like charging out of the house in a hysterical rage and beating his father with a bat is normal... yeah, right. If he won't say anything to the kid's psychiatrist, OP, I suggest you do it. Just before you pack your bags and move on to a normal life.
Seriously - something IS
Seriously - something IS really wrong. DH wants to pretend otherwise.
What is wrong with your
What is wrong with your husband? This is completely unacceptable.
I'm flabbergasted that you're
I'm flabbergasted that you're still there. This situation is a disaster waiting to happen.
Agree SS has Serious issues...
He has been in “therapy” since he was in Kindergarten and Medicated. Honestly therapy seems Worthless as SS is still a Monster. A lot of the problems lie with DH and BM Disagree just to disagree. There has been Consistent Tension and hatred between those two that has NOT gotten better with time.
SS is DH only son and wants him to be normal. DH will lie or at best underplay SS’s Violent temper at our house as DH wants SS off the Psychotic meds. DH is all concerned about SS being “short” because the meds decrease his Appetite. I’m more Concerned SS will flip a nut and really do some damage. DH wants SS to go to “his college” and I’m thinking this kid can’t even pack his own suitcase when we go on vacation how is he going to go to college in 5 years???
Can I be honest? Your post
Can I be honest? Your post doesn't matter. What matters is your safety. Your DH is delusional and I feel like he's rubbing off on you as you do not seem to be troubled as much as we are about your SS's behaviour.
Ask yourself a serious question: If your SS is like this at 13, what will he be like at 15? 16? 17? 18? 21?
He wants him off the meds
He wants him off the meds because they curb his appetite? Can yu see how truly ridiculous that is? At the very least, he should be helping his son's doctor(s) to find the right med and the right dosage for him. Is it possible that your DuH is telling his son he doesn't have to take them? Or maybe just not letting him have them when at your house? Because interfering in these things stops them from being effective and the result, given his rages, could be disastrous!
Well, I seriously hope the
Well, I seriously hope the budding felon doesn't have access to firearms.
I will never understand how
I will never understand how not telling a medical professional the truth is every going to help anyone get better. It could be the meds causing the violence, but if no one tells the pshychiatrist this they will not think that the meds might need changing.
The kid's been in therapy
The kid's been in therapy since kindergarten and your husband wants to pretend he's normal?
And not being honest with his therapist? It's pointless, then.
Yup - might as well drive
Yup - might as well drive down the highway throwing cash out of the window. Pointless.
The kid is mental sick
There nothing you can do to change that. Even if DH beat SS up that day nothing will change. You can not have this kid in your home. Let DH see him outside your home. Or one day he will, and that day will come takr a bat or worst to you. Knife or gun.
What the actual *bleep*
Wow, what did I just read?
This sounds scary as hell! If my SS ever gets violent he will be out of the house, or my DD and I will. This is physical danger to everyone around your SS.
The f- is wrong your DH playing it like nothing happened. I can't imagine that (and I don't want to imagine it either!). This kid needs help from the PROFESSIONALS, and he should definitely not be off the meds.
Grrrr!
Grrrr!
I would have that little F trophy so doped up he would be a drooling zombie for the rest of his miserable violent psychotic life.
He would have been walking around with that bat firmly planted up his ass after the first swing if I were his daddy and I would have had him hauled off in a straight jacket to the local funny farm for violent POS children.
OMG.
You do realize that your ball-less husband is the root cause of this problem, right? Ignoring this is just F'd up beyond any semblance of intelligence.