I haven't posted, but have been reading everyone's posts for months, so I still feel like a STalker. 

Read past blogs for more, but in short, FDH and I have been together for 8 years, JUST moved in together in January, got engaged last year.  I have no kids, just my beloved furbabies (cat and dog).  SD19 is off at college, living with her long-term boyfriend, visits on holidays, occasional weekends, all is fine there.  SD14 is being your typical annoying teenager, I look forward to when she becomes human again in a few years.  SS13 is autistic, but high-functioningish, depending on the day.

FDH and I have been through plenty of ups and downs and we are usually on the same page regarding skids and other household stuff.  Since we moved in together, he's been really great about having my back.  Before this, we discussed and agreed upon FDH's new travel schedule for work.  We mutually agreed that he would clear travel arrangements with our schedule first, and I would take on all skid duties while he is gone.  The travel schedule is roughly twice a month for 3 days at a time.  This may extend into a longer trip of 5 days at a time when he needs to go international.  So far, so good.

I've been in the skids lives for almost 8 years now, met them about 9 months after FDH and I started dating.  He has had full custody for almost 7 years now, BM gets most weekends, but skids are older now so when their extra-curriculars are in season, we have them weekends as well.

I KNEW about SS13s autism and his issues.  I have experienced and witnessed a lot over the years, even though we haven't lived together.  BUT.  He is getting worse, in a sense.  It's heart-breaking, nerve-wracking, time-sucking, life-changing, soul-stealing, zen-killing stuff.  He's physically a 13 year old.  Depending on the type of day he is having, mentally/emotionally anywhere from 5-10 years old.  His impulse control and OCD have always been front and center, but it's soooooo bad.  AllDay.EveryDay.  He cannot be trusted alone in a room by himself, cannot walk to school, cannot complete any household or hygiene task without supervision.  And the poop issues continue (shoutout to Cooooooookies and my other sisters in $hit).  It reached critical overload a few weeks ago when my FDH opened the bathroom door to check on SS and found him EATING, yes, that's right, eating his poop.  Swears it was the first time he did it and hasn't done it since.  Not sure I believe that. 

FDH has run through all the hoops of doctors, psychiatrists, teachers, administrators, insurance, therapists, and medications.  SS has an IEP, has been on one ever since FDH got full custody.  FDH finally filed for SSI for SS a year or so ago, finally coming to terms that it is not likely that SS will ever be able to live on his own.  BUT.  You can't undo years of neglect and dog knows what he all went through when he was with BM full time.  SS has been on meds since he was 5.Years.Old.  BM doctor-shopped until she found one to get the magic pills to "fix" SS at the ripe old age of 5.  He started out with Adderall and has been prescribed, at one time or another.....Adderall, Ritalin, Namenda, Xanax, Clonidine, Vyvanse, Intuniv, and a few I'm sure I've missed.   

So, before this turns into a novel.......I knew.....but I had NO IDEA until I was really in it 24/7.  More to come, but there you go.