My own space
Well I’ve had my space a couple of weeks now. It’s not completely finished but I have so enjoyed having a private area that’s all mine. I spend a lot of time in here and it’s lovely. My husband’s son-in-law is still with us and looks like he could be here for a long time. It still annoys me but I now can at least be in my space and don’t have to cross paths with him. I still feel like we shouldn’t have agreed to this arrangement without a clear exit plan. DH has dealt with several instances of his DD flipping out because she can’t stand being alone with the kids several states away. Not sure what they expected to happen when her husband took a job so far away. I guess she thought their house would sell quickly and that doesn’t appear to be happening. We are coming up on two months of him being here. I’ve voiced my opinion to DH - when I ask him how long he’s going to be here, DH just shrugs. So I’m making it work for me. I am polite to his SIL but I’m keeping my distance for my own sanity. I’m still recovering from shoulder surgery and now in hindsight, I can’t believe I was dumb enough to go along with this plan. Not having anywhere private to go but the bedroom was absurd. I couldn’t sleep in the bed more than a couple of hours at a time and spent a lot of time in the recliner that was just out in the open with everyone and anyone in the house passing by. It’s in the past now but you can believe I will remind DH what I went through when he starts complaining about his SIL. Or if he EVER complains about anything with my adult kids. Which will probably never happen as any drama in our lives involves his kids. I know, I’m asking for trouble with that statement! Regardless there is a huge disparity when comparing them. I’m thankful for this forum and everyone here, even when we disagree. Y’all help me have clarity.
Good to hear you are on the
Good to hear you are on the mend and you finally have your own private space. Hope you make it into one heck of a woman cave - so comfortable that you can avoid SIL as much as possible. Has DH complained about SIL being there? If he does, or if he complains about SD complaining, just smile and head off to the 'Cave'. Let DH deal with it - he helped to create this situation. The expression "Fish and company smell the same after 3 days" really applies here.
Hi Sandye21! Yes, this space
Hi Sandye21! Yes, this space is nice. I’m decorating it the way I like and not even giving DH any room to voice an opinion. He’s got too many as it is when it comes to the rest of the house! I still feel like a visitor here too often. I can’t hang a picture or move a piece of furniture without his approval. Of course I can’t move any furniture right now anyway with this shoulder. It’s coming along but boy is it a long, slow recovery. DH has actually complained about me being in here so much. I just smile and shrug! He’s not complained about SIL being here but he’s stated several times how he can hardly stand to be in the same room with him because of his weird personality. And when he talks about his DD and her anger, I just smile and give this “oh well” look. He’s even made the statement that they may have to just stay where they are and try again in a year or so to sell. I can’t even begin to imagine his SIL being here that long. That will affect our relationship without a doubt. It already is. The fish are stinking!
You sound so much better than
You sound so much better than before! There's nothing like our little hideouts! And I love that SIL's "weird personality" is grating to your husband. I'll tell you...no one comes to my house without a clearly defined exit date because I also have a weird personality and I hate people in my personal space. You're in a great spot to let the weird simmer and see what happens!
Oh, I just had a thought...SD won't move in with her crew and leave the house to the realtor to sell, will she?
Definitely feeling better
Hi Marblefawn! I am feeling a lot better. Still a lot of pain but they say that’s normal. I love that I can stay in my little den and leave my DH to deal with what he’s allowed into our home. It’s the perfect spot for my introverted self. It’s funny because DH is even more introverted than I am. But yet, here we are.
And NO!! They will not move in. That has been discussed and decided. If they need to spend a night or two waiting on the truck to arrive that’s okay but absolutely NO to them staying here beyond that. DH knows I’d probably pack up and leave if he even so much as suggested it. I’m just waiting for this whole thing to implode because it was a stupid plan from the beginning on the part of SD and her husband. They’ve backed themselves into this corner so I’m just watching the show from my disengaged vantage point.
I screwed up!
Yep - guess who just asked to borrow my space for a nap! I hope this doesn’t become routine.
Um...your...husband? I mean,
Um...your...husband? I mean, I hope it wasn't your SIL!!!!
Just remember, if you give husband access to your comfy hideout, there will be no incentive for husband to encourage SIL to move on. You MUST keep husband uncomfortable, and the only way to do that is to make him share space with weirdo SIL!
Glad you're feeling better. A cozy hideout is just what the doctor ordered!
Ya, who was it? Neither DH
Ya, who was it? Neither DH or SIL should be allowed to take a nap in your Woman Cave. That's B.S.
guess who just asked to borrow my space for a nap
Well I hope you told him NO, you have a bed if he needs a nap.
His he a dog, does he need to mark his territory. There is no reason for him to use your room other then it is your space.
Didn’t think about that
it was DH. SIL would have been crazy to ask that as he has use of our entire second story - he’s got way more private space than anyone else in the house! I wasn’t in there at the time. Guess I need to stay in there even more than I usually do. Now that I think about it, it was kind of like marking his territory after he complained about me being in there so much.
His parents go back to their home the end of this month. I’m seriously contemplating moving down there so I don’t have to keep crossing paths with his SIL. My sleep is so compromised as it is - would be nice to have a bed to myself while I am still recovering from this damn surgery. That’s part of what makes me so mad about all of this. I gave up that area for dodo to move in when I really needed it.