I am so grateful that I am NOT a step parent after reading these posts over the past few years!!!
The success stories seem so small relative to the total posted situations.
Good luck to you all!!
Yes, but what about all the step-parents not on here who are doing a great job- they don't come here very often to tell us. It is a bit like saying the human race is unhealthy because hospitals are full of sick people.
I actually think most SPs start out attempting to do a great job. I think what comes later is more-so a question of whether you are lucky or not.
For the most part, either SPs get lucky or they don't. Either SPs fall into a situation where both mom and dad have truly moved on and are at least somewhat appreciative of SM's efforts, or they are not. The SKs mirror the parents, for the most part. I don't blame them so much. At least, not until they are adults. OR, SM falls into the situation where BM has not moved on, is controlling and DH is weak, and won't stand up to anyone, except for maybe SM. The lucky SPs usually don't come here; no need to. For those of us who do come here, I agree with those who say if SM and SKs are not getting along, look to the bio's, specifically mom and dad's, behaviors. And, I do know that there are bad SMs, just as there are bad bio-parents. It goes without saying, but this is not the norm by any means.
Keep in mind, this site is Steptalk.org, where stepparents come to vent. So, the focus is going to be on venting, which usually is more-so negative. Bio-parents get to vent all the time with each other. Joking about trading children, or such, or being thrilled to death that the kid is out of their hair and going away to summer camp. People are no where near as empathetic and understanding when SPs do this. They are just supposed to suck it up and take it. So, we come here. Not many other places we can go and have understanding and acceptance.
Yes, but what about all the
Yes, but what about all the step-parents not on here who are doing a great job- they don't come here very often to tell us. It is a bit like saying the human race is unhealthy because hospitals are full of sick people.
I actually think most SPs
I actually think most SPs start out attempting to do a great job. I think what comes later is more-so a question of whether you are lucky or not.
For the most part, either SPs get lucky or they don't. Either SPs fall into a situation where both mom and dad have truly moved on and are at least somewhat appreciative of SM's efforts, or they are not. The SKs mirror the parents, for the most part. I don't blame them so much. At least, not until they are adults. OR, SM falls into the situation where BM has not moved on, is controlling and DH is weak, and won't stand up to anyone, except for maybe SM. The lucky SPs usually don't come here; no need to. For those of us who do come here, I agree with those who say if SM and SKs are not getting along, look to the bio's, specifically mom and dad's, behaviors. And, I do know that there are bad SMs, just as there are bad bio-parents. It goes without saying, but this is not the norm by any means.
Keep in mind, this site is Steptalk.org, where stepparents come to vent. So, the focus is going to be on venting, which usually is more-so negative. Bio-parents get to vent all the time with each other. Joking about trading children, or such, or being thrilled to death that the kid is out of their hair and going away to summer camp. People are no where near as empathetic and understanding when SPs do this. They are just supposed to suck it up and take it. So, we come here. Not many other places we can go and have understanding and acceptance.