Different Rules for bio-kids vs. step-kids

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I have 2 children from my previous marriage, they are now 14 & 16. My husband has 2 from his previous, 9 & 11. Both are 50/50 custody.
We have been living together for 6 years now, so my kids were 8 & 10, his 3 & 5 at the time.
Since day one I have raised my kids to be responsible for their own rooms, keeping them picked up and not being a total disaster area. By the time my kids were 11 they could both do their own laundry, wash dishes, vacuum, sweep, shake rugs, etc. And before they were that age they could help out around the house in any manner I needed. It was how I was raised also. I do work fulltime, commute about 10 hours a week and was taking classes online for about a year and a half. So, house with 6 people I needed some help keeping it clean. My husband works 50-60 hours a week with lots of computer time at home. So he doesn't help which I don't expect him to, he's the bread winner in the home. But on the days/nights we have his 2 at our house he is off early to spend time with them, help with homework, go to events etc. Both the younger kids are in soccer and hockey so they are very busy, their bio-mom schedules them to the max. My kids do sports and have extra things at school also but not to their extreme. So here is my issue, the 2 younger step kids (now 9 & 11) have zero responsibilities in our home. They don't pick up after themselves, they are allowed to have food in their bedrooms which mine are not. When I bring any of this up to my DH he tells me "Don't worry about it" and he thinks I should just keep my mouth shut when it comes to his kids. But he wants to have input on every aspect of my kids. My kids have resented the two younger step-sibling for some time now and I totally understand. My kids still do sports, homework, help me around the house, do their own laundry and sometimes start dinner for the family if I call and ask them to. I've told my DH that he needs to stop holding his kids up on a pedestal, they are lazy and he allows it. He was pissed last week because I didn't make my 2 children attend a soccer game the two younger were playing in because they didn't want to go. He said, we are a family and we should all be here to cheer them on. I dis-agree! A 16 year old doesn't want to sit and watch a 9 year old. My daughter plays volleyball and he has been to one game this year out of 6 so far. But I'm expected to go to all soccer and hockey games. And if my kids are staying with us that night they are expected to go too. So I guess I'm looking for advise, I've tried to talk to my DH and explain to him I think he's raising irresponsible, lazy, entitled kids. His response is at least they get good grades. Which is a total jab at my son, he's not the most stealer student. I feel like he's constantly comparing his kids to mine. It's a huge issue in our house and all the kids see it and the two youngest play a good game with their dad. If they want something they just ask and he jumps to get it. It's driving us apart more and more. I know this post is kind of all over but any advise would be greatly appreciated. How do you deal with a partner that treats their step kids like they don't matter and their bio-kids are the reason the sun rises & sets?

Oh the dreaded sports

Oh the dreaded sports activities. My definition of hell on earth.

You allow your husband to do

You allow your husband to do absolutely nothing in the house,(I bet his mother allowed that as well when he was growing up) but expect him make his kids contribute to the upkeep of the home. :? :? :?

He does none of the house

He does none of the house work. He does help cook meals & will do laundry. But house cleaning he does nothing to help.
But you are correct, his mother raised a boy who did no house work. Good point, he is raising his children to be just like himself.

When it comes to YOUR

When it comes to YOUR kids-tell him "Don't worry about it"

it's called "Fuck off and mind your business"

I've told my own DH several times
"Since you refuse to raise/parent/discipline YOUR children,you have no business raising/parenting.disciplining my child."

And it burns his ass because BM and MIL both agreed with ME.(he's complained to them both about it)

And sorry sports?! Elf that! I couldn't stand watching my sister cheering,our brother playing football because my parents said "We're family and do things together"

Equity life partnership has

Equity life partnership has nothing to do with how much each partner earns. My parents had their 55th anniversary a few months ago and have always been equity life partners though my dad was the breadwinner and my mom the family glue for their entire life together. Neither of them would hesitate to correct anyone who expressed that they are anything but equity life partners.

My wife and I have been married for 23 years and though we are both graduate degreed professionals I have been the leading earner. We are equity life partners and raised our son (my SS now adopted) with the clear example and understanding that equity partnerships do not follow a cookie cutter model and can take many different forms that does not devalue either partner in relation to the other.

Do not abdicate any of your equity partner status due to your DH's income and do not tolerate he or any of the children in your marital home treating you as anything but equity life partners.

You are not your DH's live in chore bitch, au pair, or unpaid Uber driver for his prior relationship spawn. He clearly is out of touch with what an equity life partnership entails. You and your children are not subservient to he and his children. Don't tolerate that crap.

Good luck.