DH & I in conflict over SD
Hi Everyone, I was reading the posts going back to 2010 on this issue. I'm thankful for all of your postings. Married for 22yrs, together for 26 yrs. My dtr was 8, my son 3, my HB's dtr was 11. I'm enlightened by the fact that I'm not alone in my feelings & anxieties, rethis issue. In 1990, I was hopeful HB's dtr would love our family & be apart, sadly 26 yrs later it's not the case. I keep thinking I didn't try hard enough but for sometime now & after reading your post I realize this blended family was not ever possible. I wore rose colored glasses. When he & I started dating in 89 he had broken up with his ex for sometime, I was divorced for 3 yrs. My husband & his dtr were very close as he had custody of her in her early childhood. In the beginning we welcomed his dtr, we took vacations together, all 3 were in our wedding, all of us honeymooned together. But as his dtr got older she became disrespectful to me & my kids, even to her mother whom she lived with. my HB made excuses, gave her whatever she asked for.Over the yrs she has basically done whatever she felt with my HB's support emotionally & financially. For the last 9 yrs she lived in another state, had 2 children, has taken my HB on an emotional rollercoaster ever since. We speak occasionally, I've given up trying to have a relationship with her, I've stopped sending gifts & cards. I told my HB to get over his happy family dream, it's too late. My HB & dtr talk&txt at least 5 to 20 times a day. He will not talk or text her in my presence, he will sneak off to communicate with her, at the supermarket, in the car, even in the bathroom. I guess my next step is to decide if I can live with my Hb's behavior, should I stay or should I go.
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Welcome to ST! Have you
Welcome to ST! Have you checked out the Adult Skid forum? It's right up your alley. I hope you'll stay and gain a lot of insight into step dynamics.
Thank you EXjuliemccoy for
Thank you EXjuliemccoy for the welcome, yes I plan on staying, I need all the help I can get to become fully disengaged in my heart & mind from SD and to deal with the anger, guilt I feel towards my HB.
welcome to ST..... I can only
welcome to ST.....
I can only say, disengage from this SD, she made it clear you are not welcome in her life, you do not need her in yours.
If DH text and call her, ignore it, it's got nothing to do with you, and yes it's possible to live like this ...
Thank you Acratopotes, I'm
Thank you Acratopotes, I'm really working towards completely disengaging from SD as well as the feelings of anger towards my husband. My husband continues to make plans & decisions with his dtr without telling me, I guess that's why it's hard for me to ignore the volume of texts & calls between them but I'm working on that as well.