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Anything Good?

Step-Monkey.'s picture

Submitted by Step-Monkey. on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 10:07am

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I've just recently become a member. After spending time reading lots & lots of comments on here, I'm wondering ..... does anyone have good stories?? Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to the women on here who married for love & got the crappy baggage too. I count my blessing that things aren't worse in our home. BM lives far enough away to not be too much of an issue & SD18 has potential to turn out ok if we stay on her. The most common theme I see is the lying. She does it to. SD19 (19 in 2 mo.'s) works, goes to comm. college, & hasn't missed a car payment in 2 yrs. Just not sure if the lying is genetic (her mom is bipolar & a pathological liar) or a choice? :?

Step-Monkey.'s picture

Submitted by Step-Monkey. on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 10:24am

That's good to hear S5 - Thank you! There's ALOT of anger, frustration & resentment on here (understandable - I've had it myself sometimes) but I was hoping for some good, positive stuff too. Much appreciated!

Marie0124's picture

Submitted by Marie0124 on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 10:24am

I think sometimes people feel bad sharing good stories on here. Some of these women have such horrible situations, it's almost like someone who doesn't have it too bad is attacked. I have my share of BM problems. She's insecure and overbearing with her kids. She sill tries to control what DH does with the kids on his time. All in all the kids are pretty good, I love them, DH is amazing and BM is getting better. Let's hope it stays that way!!

Flutterby's picture

Submitted by Flutterby on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 10:28am

Welcome Step-Monkey!
Yeah, I read some posts in trying times and think things with me aren't all too bad. Yet. I have searched this site for various reasons. Insight mostly.
All of us on here have so many different dynamics, situations and personalities, AND all of that stuff - draw from it what you will...

Step-Monkey.'s picture

Submitted by Step-Monkey. on Sun, 01/16/2011 - 10:35am

I actually gave SD18 a hug the other day & told her that things here could be SO much worse!

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 2:23am

Well, my bios and my skids lie....I think its kids wanting us to believe what they tell us. It "sounds" better than the truth. LOL.

Lots of wonderful things happen in life, but that is not what traumatizes us that we have a great need to share!!! You see the good stuff sometimes when a more experienced step mom gives the younger ones a pep talk.

Some of the stepmoms tell a story about when the kids grow up and they leave home and how certain things work out, etc.

I have a happy story!! I haven't seen my ss17 since October and if all goes as it is now, I probably won't have to see him ever again! I love him, but he is a mess and he needs to grow up and realize all we do is because we love him. SD21 is doing well on her own. She's independent. SS20 is working and paying for his truck. My dd19 is doing great in college, my dd18 is a senior and softball is about to start, she's picked her college, ds13 is playing basketball and is pretty happy and ds9 is really mature and independent for his age. I am 5 classes from getting my bachelor's degree in August. Child support ends in JUNE 2011 YAY!!! We're going on a big vacation to celebrate graduation and CS!!! Me and DH are getting along famously and I'm expecting to get a lil some somethin!! Wink Life is good Step Monkey!!!

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 11:15am

Marie0124 That is my situation now. My dh is wonderful with the boys and my kids. The skdis are good kids too. WE have normal issues like with all kids. In the beginning it wasn't like that dh was just like most of these dads on here, it took a few years but dh finally seen (with my help he he) that he had to parent them and he had to put me first. He pretty much didn't want to lose me. Now he thanks me for showing him the light. It was not easy let me tell you. I had to take my money out of his hands, I had to take myself out of the way and make him take care of his kids, I had to disengage for a long time. The reason I even thought of that is b/c I was online one day looking for answers came across a web site for second wives and those ladies helped me do the things I needed to help myself and it had this side effect for my dh b/c he ended up having to deal with his kids while I went about my own life without him. He did not like that too much. LOL

So now we have a great relationship with the boys and with each other and they would rather be at our house then their moms. LOL

roseslady2's picture

Submitted by roseslady2 on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 4:07pm

My relationship with SS15 and SS10 and DH are all pretty good, but there's still trying times. Even relationship with BM is decent after 4 years of showering her with kindnesses. I have to tell you, though that it has not been like this forever and it is still very tough sometimes. I have some very stable skids compared to most. SS15 is almost a normal child except for some "unloved" issues that he takes out sexually and some disrespect for women. SS10 is probably 3-4 years behind socially ahd has some major fear issues, but has a great heart and treats people very well. He's a very moldable child. BM is a logical woman, so if you can show her research on stuff, she relents. I feel really bad for some people on here that gotten as far as I have or don't have those blessings to work with. DH has begun to be very supportive and BM has even come to me for advice at times recently. And getting me through it all was my faith in Jesus and prayer. I would have lost it 100% if not having somewhere else to go for support.