I had a skid-love moment last night.

SD is bratty, very cute, easy to like, easy to dislike. Pretty typical spoiled, cute girl.

SS, on the other hand... he is quirky. The little underdog. BM favors SD. SS looks a lot like DH. He is an anxious kid, always gnawing on his nails (reminds me of myself as a kid). Total hypochondriac... before bed he always feels his heart flutter or his head hurts or he can't breathe. He is super smart and always extremely loving.

Anyway, yesterday they met the new pup. SS came to me and said, I like him but I do not want Lady (other dog) to feel replaced, so we really must still cuddle her and treat her the same. He sat there afterward with lady looking somber. It really touched me because I have been having severe mom-guilt that the new puppy is cramping my sweet girl's style.

I just felt a lot of overwhelming love for SS in that moment. He has a big heart and he loves my animals. He is a good boy.

SD immediately forgot Lady and was smitten with the shiny, new dog. In a week she won't care about either.

In closing, I love my dear step son, deeply and genuinely, while simultaneously resenting his presence. If that isn't a self imposed mind fuck, I don't know what is.