My boyfriends mom calls my boyfriends "baby mama" her daughter in law
Okay so this is the have ever been in with someone who has a kid. When we first started dating his ex-girlfriend and sons mother said some not so nice things to my boyfriends mom about me before I had even met her probably because she was upset that he had moved on and started dating someone else. Well when I finally met my boyfriend's mom she love me we got along great and we still do. The problem is his mom gets on Facebook and shares pictures of my boyfriends ex and says "I just LOVE HER" and when she posts a picture of her and my boyfriends son she'll caption it as "my beautiful daughter in law"
I understand that they have a bond and that she has a grandchild because of her, but it makes me feel so uncomfortable especially because I never really see his mom so we can't even form that good of a bond. The ex and my boyfriend dated for over 7 years, and we've been together for a little over a year, so I understand that it's going to take a while to bond in the same way, but it's just very odd.
Also wanted to note that me and his ex get along GREAT now, so no issues with her.
I've also mentioned a few times to my boyfriend that it's weird and bothers me but he just says "that's just how my mom is" any advice??? Thanks
Oops I meant to say "first
Oops I meant to say "first time I've ever been with someone who has a kid"
No I just didn't wanna use
No I just didn't wanna use names and with HIS mom being talked about also I didn't want the confusion
Your boyfriend has no issue
Your boyfriend has no issue with his mom referring to his ex girlfriend as his wife? 'Cuz that's what daughter-in-law implies.
This is a hard one for my
This is a hard one for my because I still call my brother's ex wife my SIL. She's always stayed a part of the family even though they divorced 7 years ago. But I guess my brother has always been okay with us continuing to have a relationship with her so it hasn't been an issue. Also we've been very welcoming to his new wife (who he's divorcing now!) and she also got along with the ex.
I guess in this case, since you said you get along with BM and your MIL, I'd say try to let it go. Maybe mention to MIL it hurts your feelings that she constantly blasts on facebook how important BM is to her.
Good luck!
"that's just how my mom
"that's just how my mom is"??? REALLY??????
my MIL was awesome. even had her stand up with me for our wedding ceremony that was held at her house. she would tell me i am an angel sent from heaven just perfect for dh. and one day during an argument between her and dh, mil literally screamed in dh's face regarding dumb@$$ (the kids' mother) that SHE IS FAMILY AND SHE WILL AAALLLLWAAAYYYSSS BE FAMILY!!!!
dh ended his previously close relationship with his mother for that. in talking to dh's aunt today (mil's sister) she mentioned that mil STILL makes nasty comments about me, so "it's no wonder (dh's name) doesnt have much to do with her." meh.
if i were in your shoes, and since you have an otherwise good relationship with her, i would strongly urge your df to talk to her about how uncomfortable and disrespectful it feels to you. but remember, you can only control yourself, not others. so if df wont talk to her (which would show his utter lack of backbone), or if she wont quit with the DIL comments, you may want to consider distancing yourself.
ok wait i re-read your
ok wait i re-read your original post. so they have "a bond" and you rarely interact w/ mil anyway? i'd find a way to hide that facebook crap and just live your life. you may never have "a bond" with mil, i hope i'm wrong but it is highly possible. my grandmother has had four daughters-in-law and has only ever been close to two of them.
just find a way to get it out of your face, for your own peace of mind. i do apologize that my original comment was based on my own experience - being that i *thought* i had a bond w/ mil and spent lots of time with her, dumb@$$ screwed dh sideways, both financially and mentally, and mil always badmouthed her for the pain and grief she caused, NOT because her and dum@$$ had "a bond".
Thanks y'all, I don't think
Thanks y'all, I don't think I'd ever bring it up to his mom it's just weird to me. Also wanted to point out that they were never married so ... She wasn't ever a daughter in law to begin with .. But oh well
I can say that your BF's
I can say that your BF's mother does not love you, even if she acts like it. The claws will come out sooner or later so save yourself some heartache hon, and maintain a polite distance with his mom. Seriously. Don't bring it up with her, as everyone else has stated it is her right to define her relationship with BM, but it is also your right to decide if you want to take it, and the wiser, older me says I know my place in her eyes and I do not have to subject myself to it.
More compassionate and kind possible MIL's would limit the public contact out of respect for their own child and their future partners, especially if they know the other person is mean enough to talk shit about the future partner.
I probably, with my crazy MIL, know this better than anyone. And you know what happened when I cut off contact with MIL? Her passive aggressive putting BM in my face shit stopped completely.
You may want to just let this
You may want to just let this go. You are going to have bigger fish to fry I'm sure. I will say though that it is a little disrespectful to you being the new woman in his life.